forest breezes

From weakness to strength!

2006-02-03T00:58:00.000-12:00

Hello all my faithful readers. lol. That's about none. But who knows who will pass this way in the analogues of time.

anyway I want to tell you about something I have been learning from a wonderful Lady! Known as white_raven. She is a wonderful Christian woman, who has been trying to help me with a problem with one of my kids. But in the process of this I have learned a great deal. One is about weakness, and that our only weakness is our selves. When we try to go things alone. With God we have no weakness. If you think about it, first we are scared, cause the bible tells us that we fight not against flesh and bone but against powers and principalities in dark places. I first read that verse and I was like wow that's a bit scary to think of. But it seemed to fanciful for me to take great note of. Then my son and I got hit full on with the true reality of it. But this isn't about that. serfice to say I wasn't prepared and shamefully to say I had no clue as to were in scripture to find my aid. I knew only that God had said we have the authority over evil. That simple knowledge kept me safe in one situation. But a new one arose that I need more then just that.

we are not weak! Not with God on our side. Look at Goliath, a monster of a man slain by the youth David. We all have Goliaths in our lives. Jesus told us faith the size of a mustard seed(a very tiny seed indeed) could move mountains. Like the Goliaths in our lives, some times they are mountains. mountains of emotional despair. Mountains of relationship problems. Mountains that over whelm and push us down till we feel crushed by the weight. But one mustard seed of faith can move those mountains. How is that? Cause God guides us, shows us the way past, around or through these mountains and some time shows us how to lift it up and toss it out of our way. But he doesn't just stop there, he gives us the tools to accomplish this and last but far from least he gives us His strength so we can do whatever is needed. A friend of my has a blog "am I strong enough?" most definitely you are! With God we are. Lets look at what he says about our strength in Him. First he tills us in phil. "to be worried for nothing , but in all things by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding shall keep your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus." phil 4:6.7 so God say give it all to me and I will give you peace over the things you give to me. And I think in a small way I understand why that peace surpasses all understanding.... Because, when we give our mountains over to God with a small bit of faith, we don't know the out come. We don't know how God is going to work things out for us. Yet we know He will, and our small mustard seed of faith tells us that. And so peace is ours. To the common eye, or non-believing eye. It makes no sense that we should feel peace about these things and not be in misery.

well so far if we bring our problems(mountains) to God, and have a mustard seed of faith we can move mountains, AND we will have peace over it all. Well I say that's a great start. But He doesn't stop there. He wants us to have confidence. And he tell us that we can do ANYTHING through Christ Jesus who strengthens me/us. Parents, this is a great tool for the kids that likes to say "I can't" a lot. My son has almost stopped saying "I can't" cause I make him resite that very verse. lol. ok so we have our mountains, and we also have the powers and princepalities in dark places. we spoke briefly at the start of this about the authority God gives us over such things. here He says quite clearly we have authority..... luke 10:19, mind you this is Jesus speaking "behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpoins , and over ALL the power of the enemy, and nothing shall injure you" there is your authority. i'd say that pretty well cover the things that go bump in the night, unless of course it's your pipes, the He give authority to the plumber you call. I may joke, but there are other things that go bump in the night and you have all authority over it. psalms 27:1 says "the Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? the Lord is the defence of my life, "whom shall I dread?" and isaiah 54:17 " no weapon that is formed against you shall prosper; and every tongue that accuses you in judgement you will condemn. this is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and their vindication is me, declares the Lord!" theres a kicker. evil can not form a weapon against you, nor accuse you. and i'm not talking evil ie calamity. I is talking EVIL. ok what evil are we talking about well john talks about it in john 10:10, "the theif comes only to steal and kill and destroy;(Jesus speaking) I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." we mean the thief, serpant, satan and all his demons. the ones we have the authority over. finally psalms 34:4 "I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all of my fears." if you read on in that chapter this is a lot of wonderful verses about the Lord answering prayer.

the Lord has given us the faith by which mountains can be moved(the mountain in our own life), the ability through him(cause He strengthens us), and the authority over evil, to slay Goliaths(be it things that go bump in the night or just the feeling of being under attach from forces un seen), and he gives us the words of encouragement and confedence(we should worry for nothing, and whom sheould we fear? we are answered and delivered from our fears)

lastly. all things work together for good for those who believe. just a mustard seed of faith...

something funny to get this journal going again.

2006-01-09T02:21:00.000-12:00

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF CHILDREN

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.The teacher said it was physically impossible for awhale to swallow a human because even though it was avery large mammal its throat was very small. Thelittle girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by awhale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whalecould not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. Thelittle girl said, "When I get to heaven I willask Jonah". The teacher asked, " What if Jonah wentto hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him". _______________________________________________________________A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom ofchildren while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows whatGod looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking upfrom her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute." _________________________________________________________________A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. Afterexplaining the commandment to "honor" thy Fatherand thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandmentthat teaches us how to treat our brothers andsisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (theoldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." ________________________________________________________________One day a little girl was sitting and watching hermother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenlynoticed that her mother had several strands of whitehair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Whyare some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her motherreplied, "Well, every time that you do something wrongand make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."The little girl thought about this revelation for awhile and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma'shairs are white?"________________________________________________________________The children had all been photographed, and theteacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copyof the group picture. "Just think how nice it will beto look at it when you are all grown up and say,'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael,He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the roomrang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. " _________________________________________________________________A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation ofthe blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, shesaid, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood,as you know, would run into it, and I would turn redin the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why isit that while I am standing upright in the ordinaryposition the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty." _________________________________________________________________The children were lined up in the cafeteria of aCatholic elementary school for lunch. At the head ofthe table was a large pile of apples. The nun made anote, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE.God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line,at the other end of the table was a large pile ofchocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note,"Take all you want. God is watching the apples." ________________________________________________________________

Watching my nose

2005-11-16T06:11:00.000-12:00

Well guys I'm about cross eyed. I have typed up the first half of the first lesson from the basics for believers book. For my Christian group online to use for study. It's kind of ironic , I have been telling pastor for months I wanted to host a basic for believers class and/or a bible study at my home, and here I am hosting it kind of lol. But man is it a lot of work typing all that up. I'm a self taught typist and though I no longer work with two fingers and hunt and peck, and I sometimes don't have to look at my hands, I am no where as proficient as for this to be an easy task. But hey who said work for the Lord would be easy right? But today I have no idea what to write for my journal. In typing I have read about salvation, the holy spirit, everlasting life, spiritual life and spiritual death. That is being separated from God(spiritual death) and having fellowship with God(spiritual life) , the judgment of the white throne and the judgment seat of Christ, and I got to temptation and pooped out. Oh, one is the judgment the nonbelievers will have, that's the white throne one. And one is the judgment we will have at the judgment seat of Christ.

you know I once heard a man tell another man that he was going to burn in hell and he would be watching from heaven laughing at him. What an incredibly horrid thing to say to someone, and definitely not Christian like. I remember my pastor talking to me about judgment, the white throne judgment. He said we will be there, not to be judged but we will be there and see all those who are going to hell. He felt that at some point he would see someone he either missed giving the word of God too, or maybe cause to turn from God, at any rate there would be someone or even a few people that he would know and he would know if he had only done a little more he might have saved them(yes I know only God saves, not the point) how hard will it be for us to see these people going to condemnation. How many lost opportunities have we had? I know I have tons. But this man I don't think will be laughing at all. His words will come back to haunt him as he sees the people he has said such thing too. We don't wish hell on anyone. I have seen people wish some would get cancer so they would learn to be humble before God. I have Seen people pray curses against someone. This is not Christian behavior. This is not love, this is not righteousness, these things have to be inherently evil. I remember from the old testament some king had a faithful man on a hill over looking a battle between his people and the Israelites, and he wanted the faithful man to curse the Israelites. The bible said who he cursed was cursed and who he blesses is blessed. He refused the king and told him God said he was not to curse them. The Christian does not curse others or wish despair on them. The world is becoming a sick place, and being a Christian does not inoculate you from it's decease. Guard your hearts well, and your thoughts. For it is contagious.

the white throne judgments though I will not be condemned with the unbelievers, I wonder if my heart shall break to see it.

I have a prayer request.... My daughter Lee, keeps having these fainting spells and after them terrible headaches. I take her to the doctors tomorrow, and I'm sure now there will be tests ordered. Please keep her in prayer. Wisdom for the DR's, healing for her, strength for us both, and that it be nothing serious. Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts.

love and hugs breeze.

Laughter, humor, in the bible?

2005-11-15T04:39:00.000-12:00

There is plenty of places in the bible where someone was laughed at. That's not really a good kind of laughter or humor. Example Sarah laughed when the angels said she would conceive in her old age, and a group of men laughed at Jesus when He said that a little girl was asleep and not dead. But did Jesus laugh? Does God have a sense of humor. Of this I have no doubt. And not because of the duck billed platypus either, as some comedians claim shows God's sense of humor. I know God laughs and has a sense of humor because we do, and we were made in His image, his image in having free will, having intelligence, and in having heart. In all of that there is humor, and so we laugh. Laughter is good for the body. It releases endorphines that make us feel good, lessen pain, relieve stress etc... Could you imagine some of the family stories that must have been told by Mary of Jesus growing up? As they tell of Jesus disappearing on them and when they finally find him in the synagogue, one of the priests says you have a smart boy there and Joseph says well yes, but not smart enough not to scare his mother half to death. He'll be doing chores for a week for this one. lol. Of course I making up most of that. The bible is not a book like we read in fiction that tells us what is going on in the descriptive ways a story teller does. It give accounts. But I think there are times we can picture the scene and know there had to be laughter. Can you picture the man who climbed the tree to get a chance to see Jesus. There he is holding on for dear life, out on a limb waving furiously. This had to give Jesus and the apostles a chuckle. There is a point where Jesus gets annoyed with the pharisees and the bible says He called them born of vipers, some versions say He said they were a den of vipers. Well I looked it up in my Greek and Hebrew dictionary the word, these well meaning bibles give us, is what amounts to the PG version. What He really calls them is born of a vipers anus. I don't know about you, but I laughed my self silly when I saw that. You can just picture Jesus and the apostles walking away and the apostles saying I can't believe you called them that and they're all chuckling over this outrageous thing Jesus said to them. Maybe I'm wrong. But point being, there are plenty of places in the bible where you just know they had to be laughing. Jesus is clearly shown in the bible to be moved to emotion many times, anger, even tears, but it doesn't say He laughed. Why do you think that is? Actually I'm going to do a search later on today to see if I have missed something and it does show He laughed about something. But I think because showing He laughed wasn't dignified. When Jesus turned water into wine, the look on the servants faces must have been priceless. When they dipped into the water and drew out wine. Could He have chuckled a little then? Given one a wink? I have seen Christians who walk around with this straight face all the time, never smiling, never laughing, and although they are very kind and soft hearted, they some how feel to be Christ like they should not laugh or smile. My brethren I promise you Jesus laughed, He giggled, He chuckled, and He laughed heartily. He smiled , He grinned, and He even beamed(you know that huge smile usually having something to do with a child, but it's just one of those smiles that shines) Jesus is God, but He was also human in all the ways we are. So laugh! Chuckle, giggle it's good for you, God gave it to you! So don't be afraid to laugh.

love and hugs breeze ....... PS I will let you know what I find from my search.

The church of Corinth

2005-11-09T03:17:00.000-12:00

Today I am starting in 1st corinthians. Before I start talking about what I read over the next days I want to give you a reference point about the Corinthian church. This book is a letter from Paul to the Corinthians in which he is basically yelling at them. They had let things get out of control. Immorality, differing doctrines, and a worship time that had become something akin to a three ring circus, were a few of the problems. Women were yelling to their husbands in the middle of service, people standing up and babbling in tongues in the middle of the service etc... So this letter very strongly sets down guide lines for the Corinthians. Mind you at times Pauls isn't being nice about it. He is angry about the reports he has been getting concerning this church. One he him self started on his second missionary trip.

after a greeting and giving thanks, in which Paul cunningly reminds them to whom they belong and by whom they were called, Jesus Christ. He starts right out with their first problem. Division within the church. Small groups had formed in which people were associating them selves with a teacher rather then with God. Chapter 1:12 "now I mean this, that each one of you is saying 'I am of Paul', and 'I of apollos', and 'I of cephas' and 'I of Christ' " 13 "has Christ been divided? Paul was not crucified for you was he? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?" in 13 he shows his annoyance with them right away. Then in 14 tells them that he is thankful that he had baptized none of them, except two people. He goes on to say that he is glad of that so that none of them could say they were baptized in his name. It seems to me that Paul finds this an embarrassment and he makes it very clear from the start that he is not happy with them. Through out acts and Romans there are statements made of Christians being of one mind. Yet we see on a smaller scale in Corinthians how quickly separation of thoughts and idea ultimately leading to differing doctrines. Today we see it on a very large scale. There has to be a hundred different denominations, all with slightly different doctrine, or very different doctrines. We have Baptist, Methodist, assembly of God, church of Christ, nondenominational, Lutheran, Catholicism, orthodox, the list is endless. We have fundamental, charismatic....Etc... All believing in Christ and God and all arguing, debating and accusing each other of false teaching and false doctrine. We have Christians using terms like "real Christians" and "true Christian". This is not what God had in mind. One spirit, one God, one Christ and one body of Christ being the church. But which church? I have sat and talked with JW's who's faith and belief is as strong as anyone's is. I have talked with many people who believe in their heart of hearts that their path is the right path and the only path. Well I agree there is only one path to God and that is by Jesus Christ, as He said, no one comes to the father except through me, and, by no other name under heaven that has been among men by which we must be saved. I doubt there are many who are of Christian faith who would argue those points with me, but what about the rest. The arguments are as endless as the churches. Speaking in tongues or not speaking in tongues, the holy trinity, Jesus is God Jesus is not God, you must be baptized to be saved or not. Even those who agree in baptism don't agree on the method, sprinkle, submerge, drown. Some of it I don't think really matters when it comes to salvation. The small things of no great consequence. Belief in speaking in tongues or not I think has no great baring on salvation(though there are those who would argue your not saved if you can't speak in tongues, mind you which is in no way biblical) but some bigger things I believe does make a difference to salvation. Like who Jesus is, God and part of the trinity or not. How did we veer off so badly? First we took scripture out of context to make it fit what we wanted it to. Next we added and took away from the bible as we like. We picked and chose what we liked and didn't like and didn't accept the word of God as a whole. We then decided it wasn't all true, or there were mistakes. Scholar's struggled in translation and a hundred different versions arose. One just slightly different from the other(sound similar?) and then we put the bible down altogether. On a side track, I have never been able to understand why people insist the KJV is the best translation, when it was one of the most corrupt periods of the church and king James him self insisted on certain word changes and additions. There are better and more exacting translations. Anyway off my side track. The bible instructs us how to choose, one it says KNOW God's word. We are to discern all things by whether it is biblical. God is not going to contradict His word. Is the doctrine being thought in accordance with God's word? Are they adding things or taking away things? Is the worship service in accordance with God's instruction as to how a service should go, or is it like the Corinthians service? Finding the right church for you is never an easy task, and even when you do find one you may still not agree with everything. My pastor and my self don't see eye to eye on everything. I do not judge others on their beliefs. There is so many that differ out there. But I wonder sometimes, we are to be of same mind. We are not to debate. Corinth was the prefect model of what not to do and how not to be as a church body. My sister said once to me that she was learning to listen to God's voice. It is true the bible tells us to listen to God's soft voice, but there are other voices that can come to us too. So listen with a discerning ear, God won't contradict Him self. Know His word and you will listen wisely, and choose wisely.

love and hugs breeze

The grey areas

2005-11-08T04:42:00.000-12:00

There are many things in the world now that was not present in the time of the bible. Even so this does not mean the bible is out dated, because even for these things it has an answer. What are theses grey areas? Things like music, movies, books, drinking, dancing etc.... Many Christians are against some or all of these things and many feel it's perfectly fine. So where is the line drawn? Some will argue that we are not to drink alcohol, but what the verse says is not to be drunk on strong drink. So to some this means we shouldn't drink at all, and to some it means it's ok to drink in moderation. Some are again certain forms of music like rock and roll for example. Usually it's the drum beats they are against. Because music can move you emotionally, well yes we are to sing heart felt praises to God. The music of old was to bring people into a worshipping frame of mind, so yes music can cause a deep emotional effect, but does that make the form of the music wrong? And dancing some feel it should be forbidden. Yet in the bible there is a story of David in his triumph dancing naked in the streets to tambourine, horns. And other such instruments of the time. Here we have music and dancing. Now mind you I'm not making a stand here either way. These grey areas are to be between you and God. It is personal choices. How can there be personal choices that may differ for everyone? Well we are all different, but Paul explains how we are to judge these things in Romans 14, here the bible tells us that it is about how you perceive things. My dear friend Betsy doesn't believe in rock and roll music she feels it is evil. I on the other hand don't think that way at all. For Betsy since she feels convicted that it is bad, it is there fore bad. As I feel no conviction over this kind of music for me it is not bad. What will make it bad for me, is if in my belief that it is not bad I cause a stumbling block to another. If I sit and debate with someone over it, since we are not to debate. Or if I convince someone to think as I do and they start to listen to music that praises Satan(for a quick example) the sin is mine as I have caused this person to stumble. Betsy and I respect each other feelings we know we don't agree, but because I love her and would never cause her to stumble. If she is around me I don't play the music she is uncomfortable with. A person who believes a glass of wine with dinner is not a sin, may choose to skip that glass, if he/she is having someone over who they know doesn't believe it is ok. You would not ask a person who doesn't believe watching horror movies as something a Christian should do, to a vampire movie. You wouldn't give a book titled "sidartha" (spelling ?) to a Christian who believes we should only read Christian books. I think your beginning to get the point. You decide between you and God on these grey areas and as long as you don't make someone else stumble by it you have not sinned. Lets look at the verse. Mind you I wish these first two verses had been written in reverse order lol.

Romans 14 :13 14 .... 13 "there fore lets us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this- not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brothers way." 14 "I know and am convinced in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in it self; but to him who THINKS anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean."

now Pauls example here is about food. And he says for the person who believe some foods are unclean that it's ok, but don't judge your bother if he does not believe the food is unclean. And to the person who feels the food is clean, don't serve it to a brother you know will feel it is unclean. Then no obstacles have been placed between the two people, and no stumbling block set in front of anyone. Again how do we know about these grey areas? Pray and ask God and if you feel convicted about it then you will think the food unclean, if you don't feel convicted about it then it is not. Just place music there instead of food, or movies, alcohol in moderation, books etc... The principle is the same. Another persons convictions does not mean you can't love or respect them. Know the grey areas to leave alone and use common sense and respect. Betsy has a heart of Gold, what do I care if she thinks rock and roll is evil. It's not her taste in music that I love.

God bless and keep you, love and hugs breeze

To each their own

2005-11-06T03:58:00.001-12:00

Good morning my beloved friends and family. A blessed morning it is. Today I'm tackling an argument that has Christians at odd everywhere and even within my own family. I have reached the parts of Romans which is basically instruction for living. Paul touches on many little topics some to which he will elaborate more on in other books. One that he touches on very briefly is the "gifts". The argument being... Some say that unless you speak in tongues you have not been given the holy spirit, some believe we should all have all the gifts of the spirit. The list goes on and on. What amazes me on this is Paul is really quite clear. He says it here in Romans and again in 1 Corinthians. Here is the verse in Romans 12:6-8 "since we have gifts that DIFFER according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly; if prophecy according to the proportion of his faith;" 7 "if service, in his serving; or he who teaches, in his teaching;" 8 "or he who exhorts in his exhortation; he who gives with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness."

whatever our gifts are, and there are many more then just the 9 of Corinthians those are the examples offered there, as you see some different ones shown here, we are each given in accordance to our faith and what we are called in life to do. Some will heal, some will speak in tongues, some will prophecies, some will teach, some will have wisdom and some will have knowledge(though personally I would hope those two go hand in hand) some may have one gift, some may have two or three etc... But he says 1. Tongues is the least of these, and Love is the greatest. That if we are to seek after gifts we are to seek after love. We are already gifted with God's love for us, so why would we seek after a gift of love? Because it is the gift of love that come within us to love others deeply and caringly, and the ability to do this is the greatest gift God can give us and wants us ALL to have. All the other gifts are given out in accordance with our need for them in what we are called to do. But what use are they without love to guide and govern them. I do not speak in tongues, and quite frankly I could care less if I ever do. I seek after love. Do I have the holy spirit with in me? Of this I have no doubt. The personal evidence of His present with in me and in my life is fact.

maybe here I should back up a minute and speak about the two forms of tongues. There is the form of tongues that happened at Pentecost in which the people present of differing nations heard the apostles speak in their own languages, and there is the prayer language tongues. Now most when making reference to speaking in tongues make reference to speaking in the prayer language.

I believe I have been given several gifts, I have been a caring healer for many years, and I have taught as well. I use to have a very deep well of patience, though in my old age lol(aunty may kill me for that statement) the well has found a bottom, these among other things I am good at. I do not try to blow my own horn here, but acknowledge what I believes are the gifts God has bestowed on me. Like my sister who has the wonderful ability to share Gods word with anyone at any time, she also has a gift of tongues presay in that she was blessed with the ability to learn sign langauge and is very talented at this, she also has a deep caring for the lost children of the world and does foster care and works in adoption. My beloved friend jilly who's loving nature draws people to her. My children, Lee who is wise beyond her years, Angela who shows a great capacity for understanding and kindness toward others(except maybe her own siblings lol) Nathan has a great gift for generosity, and my oldest Scott all be it he is a teenager or young man and sometimes it is hard to know what goes on in his mind right now, has a deep feeling for morality. Each very different but as Paul says the same holy spirit and the same God. Lets see what 1 Corinthians 12:7-11 "but to each one is given the manifestation of the spirit for the common good." 8 "for TO ONE is given the word of wisdom through the spirit, and TO ANOTHER the word of knowledge according to the same spirit;" 9 "TO ANOTHER faith by the same spirit, and TO ANOTHER gifts of healing by the one spirit," 10 "and TO ANOTHER the effecting of miracles, and to another prophecy, and to another the dinstinguishing of spirits, to another various kinds of tongues(these are languages of nations), and to another the interpretation of tongues." 11 "but one and the same spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually just as He Wills." there is no doubt here what is meant. That we each will be given inaccordance to Gods will and in accordance to what we are called for. Praise God for His wisdom and knowledge!!

gifts are wonderful and of course the gift of love the one we should all seek after. But these are for our use in what we are called to do. Love is a universal language and a spiritual language all its own and it requires no words. My personal belief is if the doctrine has the potencial to make another stumble it is false doctrine. What does telling someone they are not saved because they can not speak in tongues do to that person and their faith? It tear's down and does not uplift. What does telling someone that God has promised riches or healing and the person is not healed or is poor through out their life do to their faith? It tear's down and does not uplift. These things are not promised in the bible and it is false doctrine, it is harmful beliefs, and often people receive condemnation from those who believe it for these things not becoming true in their lives. Can you imagine my friends, some contracting cancer and being condemned by their church for it? Blamed for an illness. This is not Godly. This is not the gift of love. We store up rewards and in some versions "riches" in heaven. Not here on earth. God does not promise physical healing. He promises spiritual healing. I am healed! I am healed spiritually by God's saving grace! I am healed physically one way of another, be it at some point during my earthly life, but I am definitely healed in heaven! And I rejoice in that fact! Jewels my beloved friend her son in a wheel chair and facing death from a degenerative disease, a mothers nightmare, but praise God for her faith! A wonderful Christian woman who knows her son will be healed! He will be whole in heaven! Will we be rich in heaven? What use is riches in heaven? We will be rich in love! Will we speak tongues in heaven? We will speak and be understood by everyone! Love one another. If what you are being told tear's down or places a stumbling block before others.... Think about it more closely, pray over it deeply and let the holy spirit guide you. Do some wish to believe these things because they need to? Or because God has shown them the truth? Lean not on mans understanding.

love and hugs breeze.

Who will separate us from the Love of Christ?

2005-10-31T01:05:00.000-12:00

today as i read there were several things that jumped off the page at me. all of which i could have written on. there was a verse about creation being inslaved and suffering.... as i look out doors after two weeks of rain and this one of the few sunny days, and most of the beautiful colored leaves are gone, driven early from their branches by wind and rain. i could easily have written a long commentary about how this connects with the state of the earth today. maybe i yet will but not today. looking at a couple of my last posts i have veared off from my intent. basically to uplift with a reminder now and again. it's understandable that i might get off track here when reading about sin and the law etc... i think sometimes we miss the point of romans which is not to condemn but to free us from the "law of death" and guid us into the "law of the spirit" Paul tells us that the Law served it's purpose in showing us what sin is. but it was weak at best in freeing us from sin and the condemnation that goes along with sin. now the Law fufilled we walk in the spirit. we walk by the Love and grace of God. i know i have spoke about God's love before, but it is something that so amazes me, and with so many of us struggling in our walks , in our faith, maybe even in our beliefs altogether, sharing more about how much God loves us seems so very timely. even if we all had a perfect walk with God, hearing about God's love would still be timely. there is no time that its wrong to know and be told once again how much you are loved. even in romans when we are mainly dealing with lessons on sin and how we should walk in the spirit, we are shown the His love. first we are shown that we were all chosen, that God knew us long before we were a twinkle in our mothers eyes. even before the conception of the world. Romans 8:28 "and we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" 29,"for those whom He FORE KNEW, He also predestine to become conformed to the image of HIS SON, so that He would be the first born among many brethren." 30 "and these whom he predestine, He also called, and these whom He called, He also justified, and these whom He justified, He also glorified,"
HE God, predestined us, knew before hand we would be His children, He called us and we answered, He justifies us and we walk in the spirit free from the condemnation sin makes us deserve. and He will glorify, yes He will glorify us! in the day. would anything other then Love be the reason God would do all this? i believe there can be no other answer. HE loves us so very much. what parent (or at least mother) has not thought about her children long before she may have even met the father to be. did we not even as children pick out names that were our favorites. God takes that about 100X father in that He knew who we would be, when we would be, and that we would follow Him long before our conception, long before man began, before even the world was made. and just when you begin to grasp this.... Romans brings it home 8:38 "for i am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers," 39 "nor hight, nor depth, nor anyother created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Amen!
Paul did his best to cover all possible things to show us how much we are love and the impossibility of us loosing that love. He has loved us from the beginning of time. can you just picture God sitting on his throne and He turns to Jesus and says "i'm so exsited, today is the day i have chosen for Deborah to be born! i have waited so long for this day. you know it will take her a little time but she will choose US, and will be with us for all eternity!" and Jesus says " yes i love her so, i'm so glad i payed the price for her!" insert any name you wish. inset your name, cause it was the same joy He has at your being here. and the very moment we chose Him, 10,000 angels sang and there was rejoicing in heaven! heaven rejoiced, HEAVEN! rejoiced at my choosing God. it boggles the mind. who am i that 10,000 angels would sing praises over me, and it was the same when you came to God. His beloved, remember that word, beloved? His beloved child has finally come to Him, and now nothing can separate us from His love.

Gods bless you, my beloved sisters and brothers in Christ. may the Lord keep you safe and give you peace, now and always. Amen!

love and hugs breeze

Answered prayer and a rebellious heart

2005-10-25T00:02:00.000-12:00

I started off this journal with a verse from Romans 6 about being obedient to God and not slaves to sin. Then began to write on the topic. But the words were not coming easily and my thoughts were disjointed, and I realized that this was not exactly what I was suppose to be writing about. It was a cadaver as my sister would say, the Holy Spirit wasn't with me in what I was writing. So... I deleted the whole thing and said a prayer and have begun again. Did I ever tell you I have a very rebellious heart? No? Well I do. Daily I have to work to tame it's willfulness. I had an answer to prayer last night and rather than reveling in it and praising God over it, I felt resentment. Those of you who have been following my journals know about this woman(we will call her Kim for the purpose of journaling) Kim has been a proverbial thorn in my side. Dating one of my hubbies friends, she lies and basically drives everyone nuts, in a bad way. Now hubbies friend struggles with alcoholism and he has been trying to stop, but Kim is also an alcoholic and the two of them have gotten out of control. Anyway I don't want to continue to disparage her reputation. So to move along, I first struggled with my first time ever feeling hate toward someone, as I'm sure you remember me speaking about. I had decided the best way to tame my heart on that was to pray over it and to pray for her and Pete(hubbies friend). I prayed for God to do a work on their hearts and give them the desire to stop drinking or at least to stop drinking as much. I prayed that kim's eyes would be opened as to how she behaves toward people that is hurtful, and that she needed to grow up, there were other things I prayed for as well. Since I don't go over to petes with hubby as long as Kim is there, because she liked to lie about me every time we had any contact. I didn't want my presents to contribute to the problem. Anyway I said my prayers over her and patted my self on the back for being a good girl and was able to let go of some of my anger at least toward Kim. And yes your right, patting my self on the back wasn't sincere. Obviously all I was doing (hind sight being 2020) was relieving my guilt about it. So hubby went over last night and when he came home I asked how things went. Hubby was a bit impressed, that Kim was acting like a human being instead of a spoiled child, and neither Pete or Kim had any kind of drinks in their hands. They were both sober. I should have said praise God! Amen! That's awesome, or at least cool. I said none of that, I said nothing, and I felt rather annoyed. That's horrid of me. Well pride goeth before a fall. Is a very true statement. I have always prided my self on the fact that I always try to find the good in everyone I meet. That I can easily understand how lives treatment of a person can shape them. I've also always felt I was very good at getting through the walls to see the real person underneath, and here I sit being judge and jury over this person, struggling to control feeling I believed were competely contrary to my nature. I know the events that have cause the seeds to be planted that have now taken root. Now I have to yank those out of my heart and find the good in Kim.

this is the verse in Romans that stood out to me. Romans 6:16"do you not know that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin resulting in death, or of obedience resulting in righteousness." that is obedience to God. Paul goes on in this chapter to speak about the power we as believer have over sin. That is not to say we won't sin, but that we have the power to be as sinless as we can be. My sin over this person, Kim, has compounded it self into a hypocrisy, and murder, and many other sins because I haven't made my rebellious heart obey. I must repent and find a heart of kindness toward Kim. I must stop looking down my nose at her. I must remember she is human and lost in sin and it is my job to bring the word of God to her in a loving and caring manner. I must pray for her sincerely and when those prayers are answered praise God with a heart of rejoicing, and be happy for her in any small victory she makes. I have to remember her lieing etc... Is a symptom and much healing is needed here.

Lord forgive me my rebellious heart. Forgive me Lord for hating another, as in your word you tell us to hate is as bad as committing murder cause we have murdered in our heart. Forgive me for the things I have said about her and to her that tored down instead of lifting her up. Forgive me for presenting my self as something less then your child. I am a child of God and should conduct my self with a loving heart in all that I do, with ever one I meet. Help me Lord to let your light shine through me. Give me the strength Lord to be obedient to you in both hear and soul, and not a slave to sin. Once again forgive me Lord. Glory and praise be to you in your answered prayers your show me daily your love for me. Your unending forgiveness to me, as I have been forgiven ALL, I should forgive ALL of others. Help me to do this. As ever Lord in accordance to your will. In Jesus precious and holy name I pray, AMEN.

love and hugs breeze.

The gift

2005-10-24T01:04:00.000-12:00

Today's reading was in Romans 5. Actually I read 4-5 but it was chapter 5 I want to write about. It's a wonderful chapter in which Paul explains the need for Jesus Christs death and resurrection. I have seen in chat and heard in real life, the question of why we would need someone to die for us. The argument being that an all powerful God wouldn't need such an action to forgive and save us. It is not an easy concept or maybe it is, but people want to place God in a box. But that is a different journal and I would get way off on a tangent if I started there. Anyway, I'm not typing out the whole chapter I will give you some key verses but really you should go and look at the whole chapter of Romans 5.

to keep it simple Paul basically says that since by Adams, a perfect man, transgression sin and death entered the world, it took the death and resurrection of Jesus, a perfect and sinless man for death and sin to loose it hold on us and God give us the gift of grace and salvation and the eternal life we were to have from the beginning to be restored to us. It's really not that difficult. A man who was made perfect and meant to be immortal sinned and thus brought death to him self and man as a whole. So a man who had never sinned, perfect, died for our sins and was resurrected into immortality there fore restoring us to God and our rightful eternal life. Ok this is getting to be how many ways can I say the same thing. I actually think it's a pretty simple concept but others seem to find it very hard to grasp. Let look at a couple of verses.

Romans 5:12 "therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world , and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned-" 5:18 "so then as through one transgression there resulted condemnation to all men, even so through one act of righteousness(Jesus dieing for us) there resulted justification of life to all men." and finally 5:21 "so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace would reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

by Jesus righteous act of dieing, an innocent man, sinless and perfect, He nullified the sinful act of Adam. But what about the comments of *why couldn't God fix this Him self?* well... Who is Jesus? God come in the flesh. God did fix this Him self. He came to earth and gave Him self as the prefect sacrifice for our sins. Who else could possibly love us enough to do that? If you think about it, it was an incredible act! In john chapter 1:1 he tells us that Jesus, the word of God, is God, and every thing was made through Him. For Him to stand there and suffer as He did, He could have ended the world right there and then. With one word. Or called down ten thousand angels to destroy the world. As they whipped God, beat God, nailed God to a cross, etc... And yet He suffered all this because He loves us and wanted us to have the gifts we were meant to have. To me this is incredible. He could have just ended it and started from scratch. Or wiped out human kind and made the eagles the dominant species. Ok that might be a bit silly. Point being for some reason God saw us as worth saving, and He sacrificed Him self to do it. Then He defeated death! The mortal man made immortal, our God lives!! Oh what is that song? We sing it so often in our church.... Ah well I can't remember it off the top of my head. Harold when and if you read this you will have to remind me of the name of that song. Anyway it sings praises to God that He is a living God. Jesus Christ raised from the dead and by that gave us the gift of grace and righteousness by which we have salvation and eternal life.

I have always wondered what I will do when I get to heaven and Jesus is there to greet me, will I run to his arms or will I bow down and kneel before him? Maybe I'll do both. But really He is my friend, father, etc.. So I want to hug Him. He is my God so I should bow down. I think even john who was his best friend on earth wasn't sure how to greet Him in his revelation, so he bowed down. Maybe it's best to start there. Ok I'm babbling.

Lord bless and keep all my beloved friends and family. Guide them through all their struggles and give them the peace that lets them know you have it all in hand. My Lord lives and we all belong to Him and there is no power that can take us from Him. We praise and thank you Lord for your Gift of salvation. May you keep the hand of grace over us all. Amen.

love and hugs breeze.

I'm better then you

2005-10-21T02:26:00.000-12:00

I have been reading Romans three today. It's an interesting chapter, and once again relates back to some problems in Acts. During Paul's travels he would first go and preach to the Jews and then the gentiles. It didn't seem to matter whether he was bringing Jews to Christianity or not the moment he mentioned he would now go and preach to the gentiles the Jews would become angry and jealous. They viewed the gentile as unworthy, as beneath them. I think they let being God's chosen people go to their heads. Now here in Romans Paul writes about this, but this isn't a lesson for Jews. It's a lesson for all of us. As Christians we are no better then anyone else. We are not better then the Jews, or wiccans or non-believers whatever their chosen paths. As a saying goes, that I'm rather found of "the only difference between the non-believer and the Christian is we are forgiven" yup that's it folks. We are save by grace, we can not boast. We are yet sinners and we yet do many of the things the non-believers do. Make the same mistakes etc.... Often time in chat I have seen Christians look down their nose(or type down their nose as the case maybe) at anyone who comes into the room who is not a Christian. I have heard Christians in the real world tare down other people because of their sins "oh she committed adultery" *gasp* yes well so did Mary Magdalene. Let look at a verse Romans 3:9 "what then? Are we better than they? Not at all; for we have already charged that BOTH Jews and Greeks are all under sin." 22, "even the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all those who believe; for there is no distinction, 23 for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God," 24"being justified as a GIFT by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus." Amen and praise God for His word. Paul does not say all non-believers have fallen short, Paul says ALL have fallen short. That is you and me. To be plainly spoken having an attitude toward a non-believer or even a believer that is a little different from you, is not Biblical! In fact I would go so far as to say it was sin in many ways. We are no better then anyone else, and never will be. For some who were first will be last and some who were last will be first. Lets take that a step farther. That some who were great will be low, and some who were lowly will be great. Much is hidden from us as to our paths through life and many times we should remember " but for the grace of God goes us."

God bless and keep you today and always, Lord help each of us with our "I'm better than you" thoughts, for we have all had them. Lord remind us we are to be your HUMBLE servants and in that humble servants of others. As Jesus humbled Him self to stoop and wash the feet of His disciples, so we should wash a few feet as well.

love and hugs breeze

Circumcision

2005-10-20T02:01:00.000-12:00

I am now reading in Romans two. I had to laugh at one point, cause Paul kept saying "first the Jew and then the Greek" well since I am part Jew and Greek I guess I get a double dose huh lol. Just kidding. It was kind of funny to me. Gee he had nothing to say about my Irish side. Ah well. As I read through I noticed that Paul was addressing something that was touched upon in Acts. In Acts there had been a an argument about whether the new gentile Christians should be circumcised. There were some requiring it of the gentiles. Really they were not acting without knowledge for many times in the OT God had the "aliens" or "sojourners" among the Jews do the same as He was telling the Jews to do. At any rate, at this point in time it was causing dissension. So as told in Acts the apostles came together and after much prayer and discussion decided it was not necessary for the gentile to be physically circumcised. Now here in Romans Paul is clarifying this decision. You will note that I said the gentile did not have to be physically circumcised, but there is a circumcision that we all must do, and I imagine it has to be on a semi regular basis. Read these verses, as I post them for you.

mind you the version I use is a "new American standard" ryrie study bible. I have the KJV of ryrie and a few others, but I prefer this. Though the KJV is beautiful in it's language it is my personal feeling that it isn't the best of translation. Anyway .....

Romans 2:28-29 "28, for he is not a Jew who is one outwardly, nor is circumcision that which is outward in the flesh. 29, but he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and the circumcision is that which is of the HEART, by the spirit, not by the letter; and his praise is not from men, but from God."

of course Paul had much more to say about it but these are the verses that really stood out to me. Because this circumcision of the heart is something we all need to do. We all think of the word heart as something that holds love, kindness, compassion and generosity. This is true these are things of the heart. There are other things too. The heart being symbolic of all emotion. So here is where bitterness, hatred, resentment, even cruelty symbolically rests as well. I'm sure you have heard saying like "having a twisted heart" "a black heart" "a heart of wickedness". This is where the circumcision of the heart comes in. The idea being we are to cut away the wickedness in our hearts. Leaving only the love, the kindness, the compassion, and the generosity. We can all do without bitterness, it hardens our heart to others, we can do without hatred it makes us mean and cruel to others. Resentment is a seed that can lead to all other darkness in our hearts, and cruelty is the end result of not circumcising our hearts and letting all the others fester till it has drive out love. As children of God this would be the last thing we would wish to become. Yet it is not easy to circumcise a heart, and sometimes parts grow back and have to be cut away again. Trust in God and His Holy spirit, for the knife they use is sharp and your faith can keep such cancerous growth at bay. We are the inward Jews and our circumcision is inward as well. As in all things with God it's about the heart. It's about love. If you have never read the bible know that right and wrong, good and evil has already been written upon your heart. You already know the path.
Romans 2:14-15 "14, for when gentiles who do not have the law do instinctively the things of the law, these, not having the law, are the law to them selves, 15, in that they show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience baring witness and their thoughts alternately accusing or else defending them." yes it is written in our hearts we just need to get rid of the rest of the clutter.

God bless you all, may He fill you with his word written upon your hearts and give you that peace that surpasses all understanding. Help me Lord to circumcise my heart that all that is left is you, that I may obey, and be in your will everyday. Amen.

love and hugs breeze

I have sinned

2005-10-19T02:55:00.000-12:00

Yes you read the title right. I have sinned, and repented of it and in my guilt over it will repent a few more times lol. Though I know God not only forgives He forgets our sins from as far as east is from west and to the very depths of the oceans. But before you today I will tell you of my sins.

who among you knows me well? well for those who don't I will explain a few thing about my self. Mind you I do not brag for it is the Holy Spirit with in me that has aloud me to be as such. I am not a hater, I have never hated anyone in all my life. Even those who have hurt me deeply I have not hated. I am grudgeless, I don't hold grudges. I'm quick to forgive. Slow to angry and speedy to calm down. I do my best not to judge others. I tend to be endlessly patient. But in the last week I have allowed a seed to take root and grow that has had me do everything contrary to my nature and sin against God. As any sin is against God. So what are my great sins of late?
1. I have let hate fester in me for one person, and as that hate had taken a foot hold in my heart unchecked it has spilled over to others that I had set those feelings aside and away from me. To now bare them.
2. I have judged whether it be fairly or unfairly I have judged with a standard that I my self could not fulfill in perfection, and there fore had no place judging another in that way.
3. I have gossiped and torn down another to others
4. I have lost my patients and thought harm of this person if not sought to harm them.

now for the verse that condemns me Romans 1:32 "and although THEY KNOW the ordinances of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them." Romans 2:1 "therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who pass judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn your self; for you who judge practice the same things."

it takes so little to bring our walk with God crumbling down. If we do not guard our hearts and minds putting on the full armor of God. We sercome to the very things we condemn and judge harshly in others. This person caused people I care about pain and harm. As I watched, unable to do very much to change what was happening the seed was planted of resentment, hate etc... I did not guard my heart. Till one day when speaking to a friend about this person I used the word hate. It was as though someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over me. But I don't hate, I told my self. I have never hated. But it was there. Glaringly true for me to see, I had typed I hated her. I realized if this was so, what other things had I willingly ignored in my self of late. As from the tip of an icebergs I found much more I needed to speak to God about and change in my self with His help. Praise the Lord that He has seen fit to remove this person from my small world here. That friends can heal and I can find forgiveness without watching it all continue.

sin is something that infects. Like a virus when we let it go unchecked it can spread to every aspect of our lives and extend it self to those around us as well. The old testament teaches this over and over again. These verses do not speak to the non-believer, but speak to those who know God's word. Who have no excuse for willfully or wanton sin. It speaks to those who can not claim ignorance. It speaks to me. So the time has come for me to get on my knees and repent with all my heart. Might it be that time for you?

love and hugs breeze

Behold! Creation

2005-10-18T00:37:00.000-12:00

I have moved into the book of Romans this is a letter from Paul to the brethren in Rome. I think it is very powerful book in that it fairly clearly shows us what to do and what not to do. It is paul's directions for the brethren on many topics. He starts out with greeting everyone in the name of Jesus Christ. Fairly normal stuff, he praises them, for he has heard of their great faith from others..... But I found one verse in the first few that jumped out at me.

Romans 1:19 and more specifically 20. "19, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. 20, for since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power, and divine nature, have been seen, being understood through what has been made, so they are without excuse."

I am a lover of nature. Despite my dislike of winter, and how bad this climate is for my chronic condition I don't think I could live anywhere else then in my beloved mountains. I have often heard believers say to non-believers "just look around you and you can see God, look at nature..." I have said something along the same lines. The bible it self says basically the same thing right here in Romans 1:19-20 Paul says that we all have seen creation/nature and by it the attributes of God and so those who have not believed in the barest sense have no excuse. Cause God is all around us, everything that was created was created by Him, and to God we should be able to see this as plain as the nose on our face. Fall is my favorite example for this. There is nothing like fall in the mountains. It is like God created all new shades for the occasion, and the mountains look as though they have been set afire. My husband has gotten so us to me saying every year "it fire on the mountain time" I find words don't do justice to the beauty. Even as a child I could never fathom how someone could see that and not know in their heart there is a God. God's invisible attributes, His eternal power, His divine nature is all evident and right before our eyes. It is all in creation. In nature. Have you ever looked at a painting in awe of the mastery of the artist who created it? Can you see the soft brush strokes as they painted a flower, or the bold and large strokes for the sky. And we Jabber about how talented this artist is. But no human artist can come pare to God. Look at his canvas, all the world, all the universes and beyond. Look upon the soft strokes for the floating leaf as it glides to the ground. Look at the summer greens, have you ever sat in the forest and looked at all the different shades of green? No earthly artists pallet can come pare to all the suttle shades God has given us. How about His bold strokes of a summer storm? The rolling dark clouds and the incediable streaks of lightening across the sky. The silence of the snowfall at 2 am. When it seems all the earth is asleep except you God and the softly falling snow. My favorite, the wind. Soft and loving or bitter and cruel. It howls at the loss of it's summer playmates all winter long. Mournfully calling. This is God my friends, beloved father, who created the wonders of the world to stand in evidence to us of His existence. So that we would have no excuse not to believe in Him. sadly there yet are those who are blind.

love and hugs breeze

Safely to land

2005-10-17T02:33:00.000-12:00

I finally read about pauls ship wreck. Today we have been brought safely to sunshine. As Paul was brought safely to land. It has been a blessed morning. I awoke first at sunrise, and though the high trees block most of my vision of the sky from the window, when I'm laying down the very top panes give me a perfect and unhampered view. How wonderfully God answered my prayers for something other then grey to see in the sky. It was beautiful. Pinks , red and blue sky greeted the sunrise. Then orange the color of fire and for just a moment it looked like the sky had become flames. I watched sleepily from my bed the brilliant colors, and then slowly as the sun came fully into the sky, the colors faded into a rich blue. I must admit I was very tired the weekend being not a great time of rest for me, so I fell back to sleep. My second blessing, the Lord granted me peaceful rest, I heard not phone or TV from my youngest who stayed home one last day, but is feeling him self again, so praise God for a rapid recovery. Yet I heard not even him, and finally woke at about 9:30 am. Now I sit before my computer writing to you all and out my window is sunshine. A sunny cool fall day, unfortunately we will have more rain coming. But I will take this day for my renewal to get through all the rest.

well in the course of pauls rainy days and storms, it seemed to last a good 14 days. About the same here. lol. Guess the Lord want me to get a real feel for paul's plight. First the Lord told them to stop where they were or there would be a shipwreck with loss of life. But the stubborn people did not listen to Paul and went on. The storm worsened, they wanted it all in away. To have their cargo and lives and put into a port of their liking instead of one that would do for the time being. God wasn't about to let anything happen to Paul. So He sent an angel to Paul who told him that they would loose everything except their lives, and instead of the port they had wished for they would now have a grounded ship on a reef and have to swim to safety. Some where still stubborn and would have not listened again and this time cost the lives of everyone else. But Paul spoke to the centurion who was smart enough not to make the same mistake twice. When I think in my own life how stubborn I can be when the storms hit. I think I can control the rudder and steer us through it my self. God says if you listen to me and let me handle things it will all work out ok. But I don't always listen to His voice, and I make things worse. He says if you listen to me and let me handle it you will now come out of it with what you need. I'm stubborn but not foolish. I do eventually turn it over to God. But all the while that I try to do it all my self I flounder barely keeping our heads above water. The sinful side of us wants everything. A port we like, our cargo, and our lives. But the waves are getting higher and the winds are becoming hard and cruel as we try to steer our way out of it. When we let God have it and accept that He will make sure we have what we need, not necessarily what we want. Then you hear that voice in the wind "be still" and the storms in your life quiet and the blue sky shows through.

mine eyes are bedazzled today by blue sky's and I can't wait till later when I can go out and see the colors of the trees bright with the sunshine. I know it's not quite the same with the storms of our lives, but that peace and elation is more then worth it.

hope you all have some sunshine in your day today! Love and hugs breeze

Rain rain rain RAIN

2005-10-16T01:11:00.000-12:00

I haven't done my reading yet this morning and in fact I may just do a "daily bread" reading and read the scriptures that go along with that. In acts I'm up to the part about pauls shipwreck. I just can't bring my self to read anything that has to do with more water and rain etc.... It has been raining here for over a week. There is still green leaves on the trees and pretty colored leaves on the trees that are turning and yet all still looks grey. The sky had been a solid grey without even a peek of sunshine, and it just keeps raining. Like the earth or even God is weeping. It feels so odd to have what amounts to cabin fever and we haven't even had any snow yet, not even a frost. The flatlander have been hit hard by all this rain. We have had some terrible flash floods, bridges wiped out, homes destroyed, people injured and even killed. Not up here of course. But down in the low lands. Up here we have had very little in the way of flooding, just a lot of grey! I have a river just beyond my back yard, so if it what going to jump it's banks it would have very easily. It's definitely high but we seem to be at no risk. I had to go down to the flat lands the other day, this is about a two hour trip, I was amazed to see colapsed bridges and the debree. It was awful. Views so very familiar to me changed completely. We had gone down a few days after the innicial flooding had hit, so main roads were cleared etc... But still the sights were heart breaking at times. I can only imagine how much worse off the hurricane victims were. And what the damage looks like there. Nature can be beautiful in her fury and just as deadly and destructive. ahh, but grey continues to cloud the colors of my mind. I haven't seen a blue sky, the sun, the stars or moon in what seems like forever. Isn't it amazing how much our state of mind and well being can hinge on such things? You know Vermont should be called the place of rainbows. For some reason the way the mountains lay quite often we will have rain and sun at the same time and almost ever time you can step out your door, look around for a second or two and find a rainbow. God's promise never to cleans the world by flood again. And his covenant to the old testament believers. How I would love to see the sun and one of the many rainbows right now. It would be like a drink of water to a thirsty man who had just walked through the desert. Oh well. Nathan is sick right now. He slept in bed with me last night and when we got up this morning and I settled him on the couch he puked all over the place. Luckily all he had in his tummy was some water. Now he seems to feel much better.

our prayer requests for this week. Is for Nathan to be well quickly, and for God's provisions as we have our backs against the wall right now, and I see no way to get the rent paid. I'm sure the Lord will find us a way, as he is always faithful. It's just not obvious to me right now. Still with all this whining about the weather.... I want you to know I'm blessed always by God's grace. And I have faith that whatever happens it will all work together for good.

love and hugs breeze

Frustration!!

2005-10-14T04:39:00.000-12:00

As I continued to read through acts 24, 25, and 26 poor Paul was held in prison 2 years and brought periodically before counsels after counsels before finally being brought before the king. Hind sight being twenty twenty I wish I had read these verses at a time in my life when the situation wasn't to far from what Paul was going through. And ours lasted two years, if not a bit longer. My son had been accused of an awful crime he was innocent of. Being low income as we were, we had to rely on court appointed attorney. Mostly the man didn't wish to be bothered. He didn't believe in my sons innocents. There was one investigator who believed in my son 100% and he was fired because he refused to play their games. The end result was I had to do all the work my self. In the end the charges were dropped. Yet my sons name remains on a list somewhere, for some reason this organization is about the law of the courts. The frustration and helplessness, anger. I can only imagine Pauls feelings while going through this. Though he may have been a much calmer person then me. A mother trying to protect her child is not what you would call calm, friendly, or even nice. Paul was a diplomat it seems, speaking came naturally to him. You know the more I have studied the bible the more I have found that there is something in it for almost every situation and if there isn't something for a situation it's only cause I have missed it, or don't remember it. But it's there. It is amazing what God provided for us in this one book, and how many times you read it, depending on your life at that time it can all take on new meaning for you. The Bible even told me how to handle being a believing wife, with a non-believing husband. People speak about how a 2000 year old book could have any meaning today, that it's archaic, out of date etc.... All I can say to those who say that, is they haven't read it. They haven't tried to apply it with an open heart. You have a problem.... Take a look in our bible, chances are someone had the same problem long before you did.

love and hugs breeze

The many faces of Paul

2005-10-13T03:38:00.000-12:00

Today's reading was kind of fun. In that I got to see some of pauls cunning and learn more about him that directly related to some of my personal questions. I read through acts 21-23. We start off with Paul having started his trip back to Jerusalem. Several places that he stopped, either though the spirit or prophecy Paul was warned about returning to Jerusalem. Acts 21:4 "after looking up the disciples, we stayed(this is at tyre) there seven days; and they kept telling Paul through the spirit not to set foot in Jerusalem." acts 21:10-12 "10- as we were staying there for some days, a prophet named Agabus came down from Judea. 11- and coming to us, he took paul's belt and bound his own hands and feet, and said "this is what the Holy Spirit says, 'in this way the Jews at Jerusalem will bind the man who owns this belt and deliver him into the hands of the gentiles' " 12-when we has heard this, we as well as the local residents began begging him not to go up to Jerusalem." very strongly was he warned again and again through his travels that something would happen to him when he returned to Jerusalem. I wonder why Paul chose to continue? Yes there is a reason he did but we don't see that till a bit later in 23. Through out the Bible it shows where people have been warned, and they have always turned from their course and avoided capture , death, and other things. Even Jesus him self was warned by the Spirit and avoided the trouble for a while. Mary and Joseph went into Egypt to keep Jesus from being killed at the hands of herod. (I think it was herod) but Paul continued on. The only reason he gives is here in acts 21:13 "then Paul answered 'what are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be bound , but even to die at Jerusalem, for the name of the Lord Jesus.'" and so he went on to Jerusalem, his faith in God to give him courage. Later we see a new purpose for Paul that in what was happening to him a new path would open for him to give witness to a whole other group of people. We will get to that..... But right now, a new twist, once again the Jews are angry. The ironic thing is they are not angry that he preaches about Jesus Christ, but they are angry that he preaches that the Lord sent him to the gentiles. And here we learn why Paul was chosen for this task and feels so strongly about bring the word of God to the gentiles. We find out that though Paul is a Jew on his mothers side, he is ROMAN on his fathers side! Kind of like me, he was half Jew and half gentile, but because of Jewish law that says the child follows the mothers heritage, he was accepted as a Jew, probably drew from his grandfather for lineage at the times this would have come up. But! He was also accepted by the Romans because by their rules you follow the father. Now Paul had just stated his was a Jew and given the usual info in doing so to the Jews. Then when the Romans were going to scourge him he reveals he is roman as well. Not just that he was roman but came from a rich and educated family, this is shown in that because he was half Jew his citizenship was paid for by a large sum of money. He even sites for them where he was educated. This was like someone saying I graduated with honors from Yale university. Next... Once again saving him self in a way by getting the sadducees and the pharisees arguing with each other. Paul announces that he is a pharisee. Let me explain quickly that the sadducees did not believe in resurrection, angels, or the spirit. Where as the pharisees did believe in all of that. The unfortunate thing and what often makes it hard for today's Jews to come to the saving knowledge of God is much of what the saddusees believed stayed with the Jewish beliefs down through the generation much more so then what the pharisees believed. So we see Paul is a many phasitted man and quite the cunning one at that. His education has not harmed him either. But why did he go through all of this even to the point of winning the protection of the Romans when a plot to kill him was found out. Obviously by the warnings he got from God before coming back to Jerusalem he had a choice, and as yet he didn't know what was planned for him, well here it is acts 23:11 "but on the night immediately following, the Lord stood at his side and said 'take courage for as you have solemnly witnessed to My cause at Jerusalem so you must witness at Rome also.' " Paul was being sent to witness in Rome. This must have been his hearts great desire in my mind... That he be sent by the Lord to bring the saving grace to the people of his father. Paul half Jew and able to relate and witness to the Jews and Paul half gentile able to do the same there. This is a person born to be what he was. God says he knew us from before the foundation of the world, and in that he knew what we were to be in his plan and how we would be called etc... God didn't have to wait to see what our personality would be like, he knew us way before our birth. He made Paul the perfect mix, then gave him the conviction of belief and the desire that neither of his peoples should perish. A few puppy dogs tails and some sugar and spice and we have Paul, the beloved servant of God already able to do all that would be asked of him. We are the same as Paul, we are already what God wants us to be, to do the things he has for us to do. So don't doubt your self, you would then be doubting God. Look at who you are and know you are already the perfect mix of whatever for God's plan and you were you before the foundation of the world and you were loved by God even then. What I thought awesome about all this is when the Lord decided to give Paul his next mission He did it standing beside Paul! Now how cool is that!? We are His diamonds in the rough. You don't add anything to a diamond to make it shine it is what it is already. Just have to cut the past's and polish. You are already made beautiful and perfect for your part in Gods plan. You are a special person with your own special part to play.

love and hugs breeze

it's not easy to say goodbye

2005-10-10T01:24:00.000-12:00

still reading in acts, and right now i'm at the end of acts 20. paul is saying goodbye and in the course of his goodbyes he is giving last instructions and warnings to the disples there. he tells them that he knows once he is gone they will be beset upon by wolves/ wicked men, who will try to take from them what paul has taught them and God has given them. later he talks about how he tried to be an example to them in that Christ said "it is more blessed to give then to receive". those he was speaking to listened to all these things but none of it affected them more then pauls one statement, "you will see my face no more"acts 20:25. he says this as though it should be no big deal and then goes on with his warnings and instructions and down in acts 20: 36-38 "36, when he had said all these things, he knelt down and prayed with them all. 37, and they began to weep aloud and embraced paul, and repeatedly kissed him, 38 grieving especially over the word which he had spoken that they would see his face no more. and they were accompanying him to the ship." there are so many things we often have to say goodbye for. do you think this was like saying goodbye to a loved one who is dieing? the verses show that paul says he will see their faces no more. not like paul to use those terms. most of the time he says "God willing, i will come to you again" i'v read him saying that on more then one occasion, but he said they would see his face no more. he was not going off to his death. but for these people he would be gone from their lives permanently. this is very much like death, or worse, in that the person you love is unitainable to you. they (don't ask me who they are, something i read some where) say that devorce is like death on an emotional level.

now come the part where you have to bare with me a little. i started this yesterday and was just now able to get back to it. so to regain the flow of thought (or even what i was thinking at the time lol) is not an easy task and may prove to be impossible and this will then take a sudden turn lol.

saying goodbye is not easy. some how that was part of my premis for what i was going to talk about. you know the harest thing i think we have to do in our lives is say goodbye. maybe it just a goodbye till next year, till tomorrow, or till we meet again in heaven. harder yet is when we have to say goodbye and we don't know if we will meet them in heaven. my step father once told me it was harder for him to say goodbye to his mother who was dieing and not saved then it was to say goodbye to my mother who is saved and awaiting us in heaven. my grandmother was a jewess and not saved as far as i know. it was devistating to me when she died, as i know the seeds had been planted, there is no way to know if she called upon the Lord in her last hours, i pray and wish it so with all my heart, but there is the chance that she didn't not. she was very angery with God for my mothers death, and i know within a week before her own death she still harboured that anger. what i do know if God was kind and gentle and soothed my broken heart and gave me peace over whether or not my grandmother was with Him. my very longest and dearest friend who has a heart of gold. she is more christian like then most christians i know. this wonderful sweet soul who could never say anything bad about anyone, who has turned her home in to a managery for every unwanted animal in exstance and then some. who has lived through and forgiven some of the worst of times, is not saved. how can that be? it can be, it is because her sister and brother were not saved and died. one had cancer and the other took his own life. she can't accept that by the christian beliefs they may not be with her for eternaty. this stops many from accepting God into their lives. this is where many of the faulse prophets gain their strangth cause they offer that one wish that everyone we love will be in heaven. my daughter has witnessed to a young friend of hers and the little girl started to come to church, one day there was a message about the reality of hell. the young girls father had died and she left the church in tears and never returned again. it would be wonderful if we could sit down and right a list and give it to God and say, "here are all the people i want to be saved with me or because of me, and as long as they are all coming to heaven with me i will believe in you without any doubts." it would be nice, but my list would be endless, and contain everyone i have ever met. in reality it just doesn't work that way. we have to say goodbye and leave it in God's hands. though i think the catholics believe you can pray someone into heaven. as far as i know there is no scripture to suport that. restently i thought my oldest son would be moving out of the house for the first time. i hide from him my terrible anxiety, and fear. i helped him plan for it, refereed the arguements of the other kids as to who will get his room, and offered to help him move his things to the new place. i prayed for strength for the day of the move for the moment o would have to say goodbye. of course he would have not been gone, gone. i'm sure i would be doing his laundry every week etc.... but still i know in my heart it would have been a painful goodbye anyway. for the past 6 years Delaney has been as much my daughter as my own kids. i have loved her as thus. in tha last year, year number 7, some distance has come between us. for a while i tried to fight it, as she moved farther away from me and closer to others. till finally my heart said she is a grown woman and the mother in me had to let go and say goodbye. i'm here for her any moment any time of day that she needs me. not much differant from my son moving out(which didn't happen by the way) giving one of my children over to God and praying for the best for them, saying goodbye in a way, wasn't easy. there are all forms of goobyes and few are easy. in the 40 years of my life i have had many friends, people i have cared about pass through my life. as time moves forward so does our lives and sometimes those we care about move on as well. God says He is supose to be the most important person in our lives and He will never leave us or forsake us. we say goodbye in many ways in our lives handing the person into God's care. but we can't say goobye to God because someone we love has made a personal choice not to believe He exists. you may believe my coffee table doesn't exist but if you walk infront of my couch your still going to smack your shin on it. understanding that to choose God is one we make and only we can make it. it is personal and has nothing to do with your friends, your father, your mother. these people have their own choice to make. and when the time comes to say goodbye it may be hard, but remember God is right by your side.

now this is disjointed and makes no sense. a true babble lol. ah well

love and hugs breeze

The colors of love

2005-10-09T04:54:00.000-12:00

Sunday morning I had hoped to return to my church today, but as luck would have it, it was raining cats and dogs here and I woke up to being barely able to move. So as the kids woke up and one by one came crawling into bed with me, we all spent quiet time talking and laughing. While this mom waited for her medications to kick in and bring back the ability of movement. My youngest son made a comment about evolution. It suddenly dawned on me that though the schools are teaching him evolution, we hadn't taught him much about creationism. SOOOOO, since church was a wash out as it was already 10:30 am and I had yet to get up and suffer the first few moments of standing and walking etc... I knew I wasn't going to make it, I got out my Bible and I read to the kids about God creating the heavens and the earth with all the animals and plants and of course man. I pointed out a few places that were "cool", for example there is a verse that speaks of God creating the stars and sun and moon, for signs and to show the seasons, years and days. The kids thought that was really cool, how God "knows stuff" lol. My little one thought it was awesome that God knows all this stuff and He never had to listen to Ms. harrlow. Ah well kids are kids lol. The hard part came when my oldest daughter told Nathan that the earth was only about 10,000 years old. Nathan argued it was billions of years old, like he had been taught school. This wasn't so easy to explain to him. Finally I used my own personal belief on the subject. I tell you that this is my personal belief, because it is not found directly in the Bible though I do find strong evidence for my belief. Ok anyway what I believe and what I explained to my kids is this. When God made Adam and Eve, he did not make them infants, he made grown adults. Physically mature beings. When he made the animals he made adult animals, we know this because He told them after he created them to go and multiply each after it's own kind. He made mature plants and trees all already baring fruit and having seeds. So basically God made a mature creation in everything he created the earth included. As Adam and Eve had the appearance of mature adults oh probably in their 20's ( of course I'm guessing) they were a brand new creation. The Bible tells us how long Adam lived. The count could only have been from the time he was made. Nathan seemed to grasp this. Maybe I'm wrong or maybe I'm right. As I said it is a personal belief. I also believe that God shrunk the dinosaurs....... But we won't go there today lol.

the day had progressed and I was moving around some what now. It was now about noon, and my oldest son wanted a ride to a friends house. Normally he would ride his bike, but it's been rainy here and the cold and damp made it a miserable day for doing that. I decided to go along for the ride and be free of the house for a bit. Besides I wanted a cup of coffee ( decaff) from dunken doughnuts which was right on the way. As we drove we soon turned off on to a dirt road that wound it's way through the middle of the woods. Trees and under growth came right up to very edge of the road, in fact there were a few small saplings trying to grow in the middle of the road. Fall is in full swing here and the trees are turning. Normally I'm thrilled with this time of year. I love the colors, it is truly beautiful. The last couple of years the leaf season as we call it, has been a short lived thing. Even this year around the house the colors are muted and often have gone right to brown and fallen. Here in the middle of this forest was the stunning colors of old. Despite the rainy gray day the brightness of the colors still shined through. Oranges, gold's, brilliant reds, soft pinks, and deep purples, take your breath away. The trees arching over you as you drive slowly down the road. Just incredible. I tend to have some mixed feeling about this time of year. I love the colors and the cooler weather. The smells of damp loam and rotting leaves. But it's all a precursor for winter. Which is my least favorite time of year, with the exception of Christmas. I use to call this time of year God's colors of Love. It always seemed to me that God created the fall foliage for one last blast of color for us, to help carry us through the long gray winter. And it is truly wondrous, no human artist could come close to the mastery of what God shows us during the fall. I couldn't never understand how anyone could see a mountain set afire by the colors of the leaves on a bright sunny day and not know in their heart there is a God! Evolution could never conceive such a display, and as we turned a corner in the road and were blasted with orange and gold all around us and above us as the trees arched over head, we stopped the car, we were smack in the middle of a tunnel of gold and tiny gold leaves was slowly floating to the ground all around us, the road it self was covered, so it looked like our way was paved in gold. My children agreed that if anyone could see what we were given the wonderful privilege of seeing, there would be no way they could not believe in God and creation.

have a wonderful fall my beloved friends, I hope you can see the change of season as we can, if not, your always welcome to join us for it. Love and hugs Breeze.

fellowship

2005-10-08T05:20:00.000-12:00

seems i'm into words this week. lol. well here is a new one. "fellowship" this word came to mind when in my reading today i saw one verse acts 20:7 where paul stated "on the first day of the week when we were gathered together to break bread..... etc..." and i thought to my self they must have been having a nice fellowship together. but what does the word really mean, fellowship? cause we are told in the Bible to fellowship with each other and to fellowship with God etc.. websters dictionary give two main deffinitions 1. companionship 2. a union of freinds or equals. there is one other, it's about a group who give out grants lol. i don't think that one applies really. so what we have is companionship, friendship and union of equals. to me this means that when they got together on that day to break bread etc.... they came together as friends for companionship and of course paul would throw a lesson in there for good messure. hebrews 10:24-25 says "and let us consider how to stimulate one another to LOVE, and good deeds, 25. not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encourage one another, and all the more as you see the day draw near." what is paul telling us to do here? he wants us to fellowship, come together as companions and friends to encourage one another in the Lord. one more comes to mind , james 1:27 "pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and keep ones self unstained by the world." well that sounds great! ummm what do we do when we get there? lol. we fellowship. we offer them companionship, friendship! people it is very easy to wave hello at church time, give a hug or two. a quick chat about how ones family is and tell new people we are so happy they came to our church. and when the sermon is over and everyone has sung their hearts out , we once again wave goodbye, give a hug or two, and tell a few you wish the family well for the coming week, oh and "your in my prayers" of course prayer is always good but doesn't require us to share our lives. we leave church and go back into our little comfort zones, feeling good about God and our selves and spend the rest of the week completely absorbed in our own lives hardly giving the people from church a second thought. this my friends is not fellowship. this is not friendship, it is most definately not companionship. it is easy when the plate is passed to toss a few dollars into it. it is easy when you hear of someone in need to donate money, food, etc.. whats not easy is to get involved. to give of ones self. it means opening up your life to someone to offer the hand of friendship. but this is the very thing we are told to do for one another. in good times and in bad. people if we can't do this for one another exactly how do you expect to have a good fellowship with God? fellowship with God, the meaning hasn't changed. friendship, companionship..... you can't open your life up to a lonely person in church who needs a friend, how can you open your self up to true fellowship with God? food for thought.

my pastor, who i have given the url for my journal will probably strangle me about now, as he knows this is a pet peeve of mine. my church is a wonderful little church. i believe is quite spirit filled, and maybe it is just me. when i first came to the church there weren't alot of people just saved along with me. so i was desipled by one very loving woman and not in the groups the church now has for new believers. it was wonderful in that i was quite cut off from any socail life since moving to vermont. i was so happy to have a friend. i made one other friend a woman more my own age. and i adored her. but she moved far away. we keep intouch but neither of us can afford the long distance to often. my one other friend is a very bussy pastor. well a bussy pastor is just that too bussy. time moves on and i loved my church, even if i had no real friends there. i loved to go and sing, i loved to hear pastor preach, and i felt uplifted for the week when it was all over. hey plus i got to get out of the house! but the fibro set in. the medications got stronger, and no matter how much i wanted to be there i just couldn't. at first pastor called once a week, then every two weeks, then he called back if i called..... it has been a very long time since i have set foot in my church, to much pain or to dopy, or to depressed. there was not a word from a single christian friend. i didn't have any christian friends, except online. and God love you all. cause you have kept me going at times when there was nothing here. i had one friend out side of chruch, she was my neighor, and she moved. so i was soon alone again, no fellowship of anykind once again except online, i was written off, forgotten etc... except by one person, a 98 year old pastor retired who sent me cards all the time. now my friends maybe it's just vermont, cause i don't remember NY being so closed kind of people. only you can let me know about that. but i can tell you , there is someone in your church that needs fellowship ie companionship, friendship... giving of your self to others is one of the fruits that should grow and rippen from your salvation. now i shall go and wait for pastor to call me lol.

love and hugs and thanks for your fellowship with me. Breeze.

what does this mean?

2005-10-06T01:04:00.000-12:00

good morning my beloved friends. you know i love the word "beloved" it convays so much more feeling then just my well loved friends, or good morning friends, hi to those i love. all of those are correct and show i love you, but not like the word "beloved" it shows you are not just loved by me, but are dear to me! that you are in my heart and in my thoughts and i care deeply about you and whats going on in your lives etc... just one lovely word says all that.

the Bible is like that. it speaks things very simply but in that convays a huge amount! for example... when it says for a husband to love his wife as christ loved the church. seems simple enough, but what does it intail really. in what ways did christ love the church? he was a leader, teacher, He was also a servant and example, He was a friend, deffender, and protector. i'm sure you all can come up with many other things. often people don't look to see the bigger picture of what we are told to do. how many husbands have really looked into what Christ meant by what he said? and then truly tried to live up to that.... some i'm sure, but far less have then have not. don't worry guys i'm not picking on you, just an example. where else can we think of that God imparted something that seemed simple and yet when really looked at means so much more? probably the whole Bible right? lol. how about when he says to love your neighbor as your self? or better as you would be loved. it's about how you would want to be treated, treat others like that. what does that intail? well that one is a big one. you want to be loved, and understood. you want praise. how about a simple smile? or the offer of friendship? funny this isn't what i had set out to talk about, but here we are talking about it, the depth a simple statement can mean. do we look in depth enough to the words God told us about how to treat one another, be you bretheren or non-believer etc... how about love thy enemy? He goes on to explain that even the wicked can love those who love them, so how would that show God's love in you. but to love your enemy... now thats quite the feat, but what does it mean? what exactly does God want us to do? simply stated he wants us to "love" small word with BIG meanings. i will give you an example from my life. but please don't praise me for this, for if not for God i could not have ever brought my self to do any of it. there is a family that lives a cross the street from me. in short her son molested my daugher and his own sister, the sister afriad of her brother acused my son of doing it. it was two years , yes two years of a horrific battle to clear my son and help my daughter deal with what was done to her. i my self have lived through many abuses, molestation and rape being the least of these. i remember once, i swore if any man touched my daughters and harmed them the way i had been harmed i would kill him, jail or not. i was very serious at the time. and here i was faced with just that and more. But not a man, it was a boy, a child. the mother lied about my children and my self in affidavits. as i said it was long and drawn out. if these people were not my enemies in the truest sense of the word i don't know who is. yet now, when thing have been said and done. the first place this family comes when they need help is to me. despite everything when the mother calls and says someone has been hurt can i come look, i go. when the grandmother is having an angina attack and i am called, i go. when the mother is in tears before me i hold her and whisper words of comfort and listen to her troubles, offering what advice or help that i can. please please don't pat me on the back. what i do and what i feel have not yet reconciled but i'm working on it and as yet i still can't speak to her son. love your enemy... what is it's meaning? it's meaning is love. it is not easy and more often it is heart renching, you must beat your heart into submission, but it can be done. God's word call us to do big things with simple wording. look deeply into the words, like love and beloved. husbands you are not called to dominate your wives, Christ never did that. you are called to lead, love and serve. when we are called to love our enemy we are called to do it with in evey way that the word love means.

love and hugs breeze

How easily we forget

2005-10-05T02:35:00.000-12:00

“I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:11

look jilly!! ^^^ a memory verse aren't you proud of me LOL :P

well i just spent an hour or two on a post that blogger some how managed to mess up. heavy sighs. i always feel like the post was meat to be posted when that happens and something is trying to keep the words from being written and read by others. unfortunately my eyes are crossing and i'm not sure i can recreat the post as it was when it was finished. i'll do my best but a shorter version i guess. i'm terribly sorry.

i was saying that i was proud of my self today cause i have all my lessons up to date now etc.... and i was even going to get a journal done today. well i did feel that way, now i'm tired and in much need of a nap before my kids get here and all talking a mile a minute.

ok i started off talking about the lessons today. both lessons talked about satan and the things he tries to do to draw us away from God.(like messing up my blog posts when their really good), one of his methods is using doubt to put a wedge between us and our fellowship with God. whispering some silly thing in our ears that causes a thought and we doubt our selves, God, or our faith. i have actually took to telling such things to shut up. lol i know i'm wierd. he also uses doubt to make us forget the things God has done in our lives, things that the mear memory of should strengthen our faith for all of our days. now a days i love to hear the stories of how people were saved. but there was a time i didn't. i have come before God and was baptized three time. most peoples witness about the day of their salvation contains a revelation for them. some miraculous thing that happened in the course of their being saved. or at their baptism. but not me. each time, in a small quiet place i prayed with a pastor (twice when i was a teenager and once as an adult) there was no fanfair, nothing miraculous, the pastor cried and io sat there looking at him like what next? is this it? i had one embarrassing baptism but i don't think that qualifies as a miraculous rebirth. i held my nose all three times. the pastor layed me back in the water and then stood me back up. people cheered and aplauded, and once again i was like hmmm ok. for a long time i doubted if i even had the Holy Spirit. i asked my pastor as an adult, what it ment that i had never experienced anything... he said it meant nothing. that not everyone did. sometimes God chose to gently woo a person. since then i have seen God working in my life but it isn't difficult in my darkest hours for satan to make me doubt even when the evidance is before me. satan tells me i'm not saved, i don't have the Holy Spirit. but he is a lyer. blessed are those who believe without seeing. this means blessed are those who have faith in God without the miraculous. but even those who have had those special moment when God has revealed Him self to them, can forget. look at the isrealites, here they watched God's wonders preformed by moses and Aaron. they saw a pillar of fire stand between them and pharoah and watched as the sea was parted for them to cross, and when moses was gone for only a little while, up into the mountains. they begged Aaron to make them craven image to worship. and can you believe Aaron who actually did some of the miracles of God, and he agreed? they forgot, he forgot satan whispered in their ears. and we can and do do the same thing, we doubt. i have had a couple of miracles presay , of the notable kind in my life since. i once envied all those people with miraculous stories to tell, and i asked God why He had never done anything like that in my life once. be very careful what you ask for... remember so many miracles are born out of tragety, desasters, struggles. and so was mine. in my first post i tell you the story. but it is very long and drawn out. surfice to say many miracles happened that day. the day my youngest son at a year old ate some medication he wasn't supose to. the biggest miracle of which my son was ok. the fact that i even found what had happened was a miracle, and they just kept coming. from the emt starting an IV on snowly roads with a fighting baby in one stick, to after he was medivaced the record time we made in getting to the second hosp without once speeding. i told the Lord this is not what i wanted, how i wanted.... He said it is what you asked for, a miracle and i gave you a dozen. to this day i feel guilty at times over that. why did i listen to those foolish whispers? why did i have to put my Lord to the test? because i refused to be happy with the small things He showed me everyday, and does now every day. and yet i doubted again most resently. He tells us that there will be a selfish and wicked generaltion that will look for signs and wonders and will not recieve any. let us not be that generation. remember what he has already shown you and rejoice over it. but more over rejoice in what He has not shown you, rejoice in just the knowledge of your salvation. rejoice in the small ways He is with you every day. you are not closer to God because you have experianced wonders. you are closest to God when you in simple prayer with Him standing on a faith that has not seen, and has not forgotten.

love and hugs breeze p.s. i'm not spell checking this time. thats how i lost the last one lol.

Prayer warrior

2005-10-04T03:43:00.000-12:00

I did my reading as usual today, still reading in acts. I read about Paul and Barnabas getting angry with each other, and I read about Paul and silus's travels, the salvation of Lydia and her house hold, and the jailer and his house hold. About the girl that annoyed Paul so he called froth the evil spirit from with in her. I found it a bit funny that it took Paul getting annoyed to get rid of the spirit from her. She followed him around proclaiming them to the people at the top of her lungs and Paul finally sick of it, or maybe just wishing for a bit of peace and quiet after a few days.... Orders the spirit from her. Silence falls, and Paul sighs in relief...Just in time for the guy who she had been fortune telling his business and making money for, to grab Paul and get them all thrown in prison. But though there were part of rejoicing over people saved, and sad parts of Paul and silus being mistreated I can't say any one thing jumped out at me this morning.

my heart was troubled. So I took a ride to town to pick up some meds at our drug store, and I prayed along the way. I prayed about discerning spirits and was answered. I said I don't know what to ask to know if it is from you Lord. I knew the Lord would be proclaimed if I asked that. But much is done in the name of God. The Lord said, Debbie did it build you up?... I said no, it made me doubt my self when I had been feel so strong in you Lord. That's not Me, He said. Then He asked did you want to rejoice when you heard the words? No I said, I wanted to cry. That's not Me. I sat silently for a moment and thought about this. The Lord has been working so hard to do a work in me, why would something come along that would tear me down or give me pain and it be from God. No that's not Him. And I felt peace and as I drove I looked out the windshield at creation before me and praised God for it beauty and I praised Him for the day. I went in and got my medicines and gave a bright smile for the girls at the counter and told them to have a wonderful day. I then went over to dunken doughnuts to get my usual medium decaff coffee. There was velma the daughter of a man my husband knows. It wasn't to busy so we chatted for a moment. I came to find out that she was now working two jobs, she had been very sick and she told me she was planning on calling her Dr cause she coughed up blood the other night. Well you can guess the lecture she got from me lol. Nurse and mother hen in one. I firmly, lovingly told her the next time I saw her I wanted to hear she had seen her Dr and had gotten an antibiotic for her self and had gotten some rest. She smiled and promised. And I left the store feel her heavy on my heart. In the car once again and I prayed over velma and my prayer partner on the way home. Once again I was given peace over both people. But today I was given something else too....

the people of God I admired the most was the prayer warrior. I had this picture in my head of these people spending day and night on their knees praying and praying. I guess that's a bit unrealistic, goes to show even as adults we can get a childish picture of things rather then how they really are. I know I mention to some of you not long ago about some old psychic abilities suddenly coming back to haunt me since I started the training. The question was, was it of God or not. I had started to feel the pain of others again. When you live in pain as it is, this can be quite annoying then you have to figure out who's pain your feeling. But what then.... Didn't seem I had really taken the pain from them, except once with my son(a long other story) or sometimes I did and sometimes I didn't. But I would pray for them when I figured it out. I was relieved and so were they. Since then rather then take on someone's pain, cough, abscessed tooth, when I realize prayer is needed to try to beat it to the punch and pray right away for the person. Today it dawned on me all God wanted me to do was pray for people. I guess like a prayer warrior. What I understand now is it doesn't have to be this over whelming thing. I use to balk at it, I would have picture like the one I told you about, of a book with name after names after name listed there, and would be praying for hours just over these people with an endless stream of more names being added. I think anyone would find that daunting to say the least. God wants fellowship with us , so he doesn't want all out prayer time about that, he doesn't want us to shy away from our prayer time with Him. I pray over those he puts before me that day. And some he lays on my heart. I pray for forgiveness, and intervention in my life and others. Pray praises to Him for answered prayers, for the beauty of His creations(He is happy I noticed) and I pray as a conversation just talking to Him. I don't do this all at once so I'm sitting there for hours. The prayers I told you of today was two 15 minute car trips. Later on I may say I prayer over something else, and it might take all of three minutes. The Bible says to pray without ceasing. That can be just an ongoing conversation you are having as with any friend in your head. What is a prayer warrior, anyone of us, all of us. Anyone who took the two minutes walking back to their car to pray over a sick counter girl in their favorite store. That's a pray warrior. You are a pray warrior. And God bless you for each and everyone.

love and hugs Breeze.

Secret

2005-09-30T00:35:00.000-12:00

Today I want to share with you a song. I found this song, because my daughter Lee(who loves to sing) is always walking around the house sing it. We all need our own space sometimes to be alone, and to pray alone so that we can pour out our hearts to God. I know I feel most attune with God and feel His presents strongest when I'm in prayer all by my self. It is also very comforting, to be alone , yet with God and the world far away from you, when in that moment you truly lay it all at His feet. Well before I get babbling much more, I'll type out the song for you. I wish I could sing or play it for you, it has the most beautiful melody. My daughter has a wonderful voice and I love to listen to her sing it.....

In the Secret by shane and caleb(last names unknown)

in the secret, in a quiet place, in the stillness you are there
in the secret, in the quiet hour I wait only for you cause I want to know you more

I want to know you, I want to hear your voice, I want to know you more
I want to touch you, I want to see your face, I want to know you more

I am reaching for the highest goal, that I might receive the price, pushing onward, pushing every hindrance aside out of my way, cause I want to know you more.

I want to know you, I want to hear your voice, I want to know you more
I want to touch you, I want to see your face, I want to know you more. more and more and more.

I want to know you, I want to hear your voice, I want to know you more, I want to touch you, I want to see your face, I want to know you more.

the end.

I think it's just a beautiful song. Though it's hard with out the music to give it justice. Make me want to run to a quiet place and pray when I hear it.

the moral of this post, listen to uplifting music and in the case of this song... Take it's advice. lol

love and hugs breeze.

recreated post

2005-09-28T00:45:00.000-12:00

before i get into try to rewrite the post i made a couple days ago. here is the update about what has happened with us. yesterday was Dave's court date. well the state offered Dave a reduction to his charges, if he plead Guilty to the DUI they would drop the other charges and we would have to pay a 500.00$ dallor fine, which with a couple other court costs came to like 700.00. no jail, and since he was a first time offender no probabtion, he still lost his liceince. so we agreed, set up a payement plan with the court. Dave has to go through some kind of course called "crash" which is another 150 dallors to get his licience back. money wise, well, there is no doubt it will be a struggle. but i am thankful, it could have turned out much worse. the states atterny told Dave he hoped he wouldn't see him back again. Dave told him no he would not. that i told him if he drank again it would be the end, and it was a great motivator. the atterny laughed and smiled at me, he said good for you. i don't know, but i didn't feel like it was a compliment. oh i know he ment it to be one, but some how having to threaten my husband with our marriage, to get him to wake up, just feels yucky. oh well. thats about it.

please keep lee and prayer, she slipped and smacked her head on the gym floor at school and i have to take her to the Dr today as she has had a none stop head ache. she had gotten a concusion during the summer, and i think we have round two, now. thanks for any prayers for her.

also don't forget square1 today is the day her hubby faces all that stuff, and he family will need alot of prayers for uplifting them, a good out come, and always peace for her. don't forget her today, today is very important!!!

the recreated post

when i wrote this post before i had been reading from acts, where peter had, had his vision and he then went to cornelius, a gentile that God sent him to bring the word of God too and save. it dawned on me the vision was about the gentiles and that the saving word of God was for everyone. this is what he showed to peter. for ages we have taken these verses that spoke about the vision out of context and have been taught that it means we don't have to follow the restrictions God layed down on what to eat and what not to eat. but was that really God's intention here. when you read through all the chapter, and put the verse back into context it was symbolic of the gentiles. peter did not kill and eat any of the animals God showed him. God was tapping him on shoulder saying umm apostles... when i said all the nations i meant ALL the nations not just the jews residing there. that is clearly shown. but what isn't so clear is whether by that vision we were to disregaurd the diet God has lay out for His people. i will have to do some further research, but i would love to hear anyone esle thoughts on it.

next was a question of a personal nature, kind of, we have always made differenciation between a christian and a saved jew. though the bible doesn't seem to make that. once christian it seems everyone was just a christian. but when i was a child, just after my first introduction to christianity, this question came to my mind and has been there ever since. nationality wise, i am 1/4 irish, 1/4 greek and 1/2 jewish. the irish and greek came from my fathers side. as the story goes his mother was irish and father was greek and they met on the way to imigrate to the USA. the jewish is my mothers side, as she was full blooded jewess as was all her family as far back as we can trace on both sides of the family. now jewish law says you follow the faith of you mother. so by that standard i would have been considered a jew. not that my family was terribly orthidox or most of the time even practicing. so anyway i have always had the question of what am i? jewish, mut, etc.... i mean in the eyes of God. i know the bible says in heaven there will be no jew greek or gentile. but... for now there is a differance. we talk of saved jews as being complete jews, some believe the 44,000 will be made up of saved jews. please understand it's not about vanity or anything along those lines. in some way it's about understanding my place. i know most of you will says simply that i am christian and thats all that counts and i agree, but childhood questions that go unanswered die hard. so once again if anyone has an insite i would love to hear it.

love and hugs breeze.

blew it

2005-09-26T05:37:00.000-12:00

well i just lost an entire post. grrrr that is so annoying!! my own fault for not saving it before i went to publish it. i will try to rewrite it later. right now my eyes are crossing and i need some food. so please bare with me and i will make my next journal entry in a bit.

love and hugs breeze

blessings

2005-09-25T13:55:00.000-12:00

the weekend is always a hard time for me to post. the kids are all home and up before i am lol. so here i sit at ten oclock on a sunday night in desprate need of some relaxation. some how it turned out to be a hectic weekend, but a good one. i just now managed to catch my wayward oldest son and anoint him with the blessed veggie oil. sounds kinda funny but for my family it was the last step in a prosses of annoiting and blessing our house/ appartment. it took me a week to find the right time to do it in. sunday just opened it self up in such away that it was prefect for us. my eldest was gone to a friends, and hubby was watching races at a friends, this left me and our three younger children 16, 12, 8. beleive it or not, these three are my three strongest in faith and belief. be novices we kind of made it up as we went alone. with some derection from jilly. it was a wonderful learning experience for the kids. as we all knelt down and prayed before God asking forgiveness for our sins. one by one we prayed to make our selves right before the Lord. a couple of thing came out that i hadn't known about. lol, it was said in prayer before God so i forgave and forgot as He would have. not saying a word. next i thought it would be apropriate of we did communion well our version, we had crackers for our unlevened bread. we didn't have any grape juice. so for us water would have to sufice. i read to the kids from the bible first where john tells of Jesus turning water to wine, so they would feel ok about about the water. then we read about the last supper and we ate a paice of cracker and we all took a sip from our "water to wine" plastic cup. and when we were done and we all "felt" right with God we took our little flask of veggie oil and prayed asking the fathers blessing upon it in the name of the father, son and holy spirit. next we opned the front door like jilly told me, and i read from psalms 23. cause i forgot what other stuff i was told to read from. we then in a loud voice we ordered anything not of God to leave, to begone. nathan yelled "just get out!"and Lee slammed the door shut as though on a dislike person. we them took our oil and i blessed the children with it and later hubby, much later my eldest, and went through the house blessing and annoiting with oil all doorways and room and windows and at jilly's request mirrors too. the kids got in volved even more here. and took turns blessing the windows. when it was all said and done, we came back to the livingroom said a closing prayer of praise and thanks and sang a small hyme that we all know and love. once it wa done i asked the kids how they felt. it was pretty unanimous that they all felt better. angela my oldest girl said she felt safer. Lee said she felt like a heavey wieght had been lifted from her. nathan didn't say much but was smiling from ear to ear. at bed time he yawned contentedly and went right to sleep. something we haven't seen in a month now. so Amen! love and hugs breeze

Great things

2005-09-23T01:40:00.000-12:00

Today I was reading about pauls conversion to Christianity. Though it would be him who would later coin the phrase Christian. Paul was first brought low, blinded even, before he was uplifted and later to become the renown Paul who is one of the great authors of the Bible's new testaments. I started to think about the others in the bible that the Lord allowed to be brought low before uplifting them to do great things in his name. We have Joseph who as a child had a wonderful relationship with God and was granted great visions about his future. He was sold by his own brothers, became a slave in Egypt, thrown in jail because of a scorned woman's wrath. Then finally helped pharaoh with a dream and became one of the most powerful men in Egypt. In fact it is argued that at one point he actually became pharaoh over Egypt. Moses who was 40 years in the wilderness after being a prince of Egypt, became a humble Shepard and then sent to save his people from slavery. I always found it comforting to think that when things were at there worse and I had been brought to my lowest points God would be lifting me up to do something. Many times I have not known what it was, and some time I knew the moment it happened that this was what he was preparing me for. Always for everyone of those in the bible and for us now, the one prerequisite was to trust in God. Even in the new testament we see the same things. Peter who was brought low to be lifted up and be who he became. John who was exiled and made low before being given the great vision of revelations. I know there was many others but with my meds on board I can't think of them right now. The bible says we are being refined like gold and silver. First all the yucky stuff has to be burned away from us. When life is dealing us blow after blow, I like to think I am being prepared for something. Even if it is just to learn empathy for what someone else may be struggling with, that I might be encouragement and support for them. But as any of us, I often falter in the face of the Constance struggles my family and my self faced. Sometimes it seems like a treadmill we can never seem to get off. Always financial struggle, Dave and I have had 17 year of rocky roads with each other, raising 4 kids, and in the last 7 years the constant medical problems I have had. I have cried to God often, and often I have slipped in my faith and struggled to regain my balance again. During one particularly dark time most recently, not only did my faith falter but so did I. I cried to God, without really believing he would help me. I hid in my room and hoped the world would just go away. My beloved children would not leave mommy to hide alone and God bless them, it became our place to be together. We read and watched movies. Played board games, and talked about their day. In a fit of tears one night I cried to God again, I begged I could do this no longer, I spilled all that was heavy on my heart to Him, I even yelled at Him. I woke the next morning in terrible physical pain from the sobs of the night before. But emotionally I felt better then I had in a while. I came online and decided to check my emails something I hadn't done in days. There was over 100 some odd emails from my group. When I leave it that long and the box is that full, I normally scan them quickly and delete most of them. But something caught my eye. From jilly, subject.. Disciple training. hmmm I thought. So I replied that I would be interested. Soon we had gotten started on it. I instantly started to feel stronger. Mind you the struggles of my life didn't vanish in fact they got harder. hubby's job ended, then he blew his next job because he got drunk and arrested. He is working now, but we still face court and uncertainty. I had a paper work avalanche to deal with. Nathan my 8 year old started to have some problems. That's to name a few things. But to my amazement I wasn't struck back down into my hiding place. In fact most of the time I felt peace over most of it. I kept plugging along at my training and growing closer to God. My main worries have been for my friends and very little for my self. My prayers have been all for those friends and often I forget to pray for our situation. I don't want the same relationship I had with God before. I think as we grow and even when we slip in faith we are growing and learning, but as we grow the relationship changes. No relationship can be stagnant or it dies a slow death. I think when we are returning to God after a drought (as my friend likes to think of it) we should not be looking back to the walk we once had, but forward to the walk and relationship we will have now, as we have grown, as we are new people in all we have been through. We start out as "babes" in Christ. And after that we are just Christians, but that's not really true. I think we go through our adolescents in Christ and our young adults and adulthood, but sometimes we revert to babes in Christ again as we become new creatures each time more of the chaff is burned away.

ok I'm starting to make no sense now lol. I know what I want to impart but it's just turning into a babble, I hope you were able to get something out of all this mess lol.

love and hugs always breeze.

A saint in the eyes of God

2005-09-22T01:08:00.000-12:00

As I have read along in acts there are two themes prevalent thus far. One is the persecution the followers of Christ had to face constantly. Two is the people who were coming to believe in our Lord Jesus Christ. People were being saved in mass. Large numbers at a time. 3000, 5000. But God Never forgot the individual. Philip was sent on the road to Damascus to bring the word of God and the good new of Jesus Christ to a ethiopian eunuch. Just one man, a messenger of God sent him there. You would think later we would hear about great things this man did. But no, the bible tells of the story of his salvation, then Philip is whisked away and the man goes off rejoicing. And that is the end of the story, and he is never mentioned again. After that the bible goes into the conversion of Paul. Well we know all that Paul did, but there is a reason that these two people were written about in the same breath, so to speak. It showed no matter how big or small, a large group of people, or just one man. Someone who would be remembered through out history or just a man who road off rejoicing in the Lord, are equally important in God's eyes. Some who are first shall be last and the last shall be first.... This is not a statement in which God is being unfair, it is a statement of equality. No one is above any other, or less then any other. We each have a roll to play and though it may seem very small without us doing our part, whatever we were called to do, the song can't be sung right. Take heart! You are so important to God. You are as important to God as any of the apostles, just as important to God as Paul. Unlike the catholic church, who believe the saints were special people who worked three miracles and were dead. We believe all believers are the saints. We are the saints Paul often speaks of. Lets look at that word for a second. Saint: from the dictionary 1. A person considered holy and worthy of public veneration. 2. A very virtuous person. Is there anything in that definition that the bible doesn't tell us we should be striving to be? No. Even to the point of us being holy. WE are the saints. Each and everyone of us who believes in our Lord Jesus Christ, and believes in He who sent Him, the Father, and the Holy Spirit. No one better then another, no one worse, all of us saints. I'm sure God was thrilled when 3000 were saved at one time. But he was just as happy when a unknown ethiopian eunuch was saved all alone just Philip talking to him. Some where in the bible and my accountability partner shall yell at me, cause I can't remember where... That every time someone comes to God, the angels rejoice in heaven. Every time ONE person comes to be a believer, over ten thousand angels rejoice in heaven! Amen!! You my beloved friends are so very important to Him. He loves you so much! These are lessons I need to learn as well. It is much easier for me to tell you about it then it is to live it. But I know it's true, I just have to find the way to move the knowledge from my head into my heart.

God bless and keep you all , love and huggles breeze

Believing what we like and disregarding the rest.

2005-09-21T01:57:00.000-12:00

Today in acts I read of the martyrdom of Stephen. At one point as he stood before the men of Israel the Holy Spirit gave him eyes to see with and he looked into heaven and saw the Lord Jesus Christ at the right hand of the father and as he proclaimed this to the men around him they covered their ears. Then chasing him out of the city they stoned him to death.

what came to mind as I read this was that they covered their ears. There are many people and believers who take the parts of the bible they like and toss away the rest. They cover their ears. In this day and age when acceptance of everyone is the politically correct thing to do. Many believers cover their ears to the fact that the bible states that homosexuality is wrong. Many don't want to hear that Christ is the only way to God. Some want to believe in a heaven that will hold rewards for them, but disregard that there is a hell. They don't like it so why should it exist. Some where in our small minds we have decided that if we don't believe this or that and the other thing, that suddenly it ceases to exist. Unbelievers cover their ears and say they don't believe in God. Well God believes in them. And their disbelief does not make the fact that there is a God not so. I can not close my shutters on a sunny day and say it is raining. The sun will seep in through ever crack or chink in the shutter. My wish to believe it's raining will not change the fact that the sun shines. There are things in the bible that I do not understand why God chose to do them, or make it that way, things in a way I don't like. But I can't cover my ears and pretend they don't exist. There is a hell, homosexuality is a sin, Christ is the only way to God. Living a good life and being a good person is nice but it won't get you to heaven. God allowed hundreds of people to die because of king davids actions. A group of children were killed because they called a prophet bald. I don't understand these things, it seems unfair but I must make a leap of faith that there was a reason that at this time has not been revealed to me. Coving my ears won't make it go away or make it less true. Bad things happen to good people. Children die. The world is an awful place and getting worse. I can't blame God. I can't say God does not exist because of it. God told us it would become like this, and that His word is proven true by exactly that happening we cover our ears. People ask, scream, or cry "why have you let this happen Lord" and cover their ears to the answer that they are responsible for what is happening. My daughter blames me for her not being allowed to go to a dance. She was disobedient and lied to me and loosing the privilege to go to the dance is her punishment. But she covers her ears to the fact that she made bad choices, and her not going to the dance is her own fault. (I don't allow her to cover her ears for long lol) we cover our ears every day rather then face that by our own hand things have gone wrong in our lives. My husband blame the police officer for his license being taken and having to go to court. And covers his ear to the fact that he is the one who drank and got behind the wheel of a car, and got caught. Good comes with the bad. Hell with heaven. God's blessings and satans deceptions. Uncover your ears, you may not like what you hear, but if your ears are covered you may miss the good while trying to drown out the bad. Can you imagine that the Israelites didn't want to hear about heaven, they covered their ears not to hear about the most beautiful place in existence.

all things work together for good for them that believe! Uncover your ears it's all going to be ok.

love and hugs breeze.

Honored over persecution

2005-09-20T00:47:00.000-12:00

I am now reading in acts, and in chapter 4 the bible told the story of the start of the persecution that the apostles would face. Peter and john, first healed a lame man and were place in jail for it over night. Then questioned harshly over several hours the next day. In the course of that first healing another 5000 were made believers. They were told to speak no more about Jesus Christ, not to teach in His name, nor to do signs or wonders in His name, and with that admonishment peter and john were released. Peter and john did not stop preaching in Jesus name, many were healed and many made believers. To the point that they were placing the sick and afflicted on cots in the street in hopes that as peter passed by his shadow would fall upon them and heal them. Once again the powers that be(the high priests and leaders of Israelites) became agitated and had them arrested and taken to jail. But an angel came to them and took them out of jail, this angel didn't just open a door and take them out, no. The next day the doors were found to be all locked and the guards in their places. In fact no one knew they were gone till the doors had been opened. The angel sent them to preach in the temple about Jesus. And that is where they were found. So they were taken back to stand before the high priest, Israel's senate, and the sadusees. Once again told not to speak of Jesus and this time they were whipped. Now here is what stood out to me. When they were released again, and again returned to the rest of the aposles and followers they were rejoicing. They were happy, not just happy but ecstatic! That they had received the same treatment Jesus did in Jesus name. They were honored to have been whipped because of their Lord. I can't say I have felt joy over the put downs I have taken for being a Christian. Sometimes it has even been painful. The Bible tells us that we have blessings and rewards in heaven for every time we suffer for Jesus Christ. I have never suffered a whipping for loving the Lord, there are those missionaries who have and worse. Those who have lost their lives even today for being Christian. I'm not sure I can rejoice at persecution but maybe after reading acts I can at least find some positive feeling of being apart of those who has taken up their cross for God and suffered in His name.

this got a bit disjointed as I started it this morning, but wasn't able to finish it till this evening. I'm quite tired and have been worried over square1. Hopefully soon I shall catch up to her.

goodnight beloveds , love and hugs breeze

how easy it is

2005-09-19T01:21:00.000-12:00

today seems to be a day that so much is going on for us all. i had to be up early this morning to drive hubby to work so i had the car. nathan has a dentist app. actually it an app with the oral surgon about that absessed tooth of his. anyway after i dropped hubby off and was driving back home alone i took the quiet private time to do some praying. my friends all have such big things happening and i worry over them. i started with my friend who's hubby has to deal with something that could change the course of their lives for sometime if it goes badly. i spent alot of time on this and i didn't stop till i felt that wave of calm come over me about it. have you ever felt the calm feeling come over you? it's like for a moment you in a bubble and all you feel is peacefulness and calm and warm, seems all is right with the world(not that struggles all disapear, but you are at one with the world, maybe nature is a better word?) then i started on my next prayers for a friend who is very prego and about to have that, already beloved baby, but she faces so much and lately she has been weighted down by some emotional struggles. once again i felt the worry about a dear friend and as i prayered for her i choked on some of the words, trying my best not to cry(not good to cry wheil driving makes it hard to see) and as the Lord is ever faithful slowly i felt that calm about her as well. i had time to pray over one last friend, i know she is struggling, but she has chosen to be silent about whats going on in her life. whatever it is i know it is hurting her. this i can feel, and yet she has been a rock for us all. leting me know she doesn't think i'm nuts when i shared some of whats been happening here.(will cover that shortly , and you all may think i'm nuts lol) she been there to guide me on how to handle things. her warm gentle way has been such a blessing and yet i feel her hurt. so what do we do in the case of one who doesn't wish to allow us close enough... we pray. and so my last prayer of the car ride was for her. this time i worried even more since i had nothing specific i could ask for. yet again as prayed for her, for all possible situations lol. for her to have peace and as i said i would... that she be protected from anything close to what i have been experiencing. (that protection i prayed over all of us) once again the Lord granted me peace and lifted the worry from my heart. i also prayed for the driver who almost cut me off, i prayed they would learn to drive better and pay more attention.

after i got home that peace and calm stayed with me. even though there was much i was dealing with today as well. i hate to drive, for whatever reason it makes me tense. driving just around here is bad, but going to the large areas where the roads are bigger and confusing .... ugh i get so stressed. plus there has been some wierd stuff going on around here since i started the training. so anyway i plan to "bless" the appartment later today with my kids and anoint them. for this i feel i need some good solid prayer time. anyway i'm a bit nurvous about this. i have always said i'm just a humble servant of the Lord. i don't feel worthy to bless things. i know in my head what the bible says, but in my heart..... well i guess the first time we do something we all feel a bit unsure of our selves. but i have faith i'll get beyond that.

so in my calm and peaceful little bubble my morning has gone. till.(play the dumdidumdum song here) i get a call, it was nothing big but it so irretated me, and pop!! there went my bubble. so the title of this is how easy it is, the meaning is, how easy it is for me to suddenly let go of the gift of peace God gave me. because of some jerk and fall back into my anxiety and worry. allowing stress to get a foot hold. after the call i sat there and took some deep breaths. i got my self calm but it's not God's calm. ui have to give everything back to Him again. in that one seconds i took everything in my life and in friends lives back onto my oun shoulders. now i have to give it all back to God. my last prayer before i leave this morning and my mind is focus else where, is

Lord i pray that each one of us can leave our worries and cares with you. that we can stay sheltered under your wing of protection, feeling the peace, calm and your special brand of comfort. let us remember that even if we slip and take it all back on our selves, it is an easy thing to give it back to you, and you will take it as many time as we need to give it back. i praise you Lord, that i use to have to give it back over every ten minutes and this morning i made ot a whole 2 hours before i had to give it back again. in Jesus precious name i pray Amen.

my beloveds, three strands of a cord are not easily torn. this is true for Father son and Holy spirit. it is true for Deb, jilly and square1. our prayers as one as we stand with God and with each other. God bless and keep you today and always.

love and huges breeze.

with one mind

2005-09-17T04:33:00.000-12:00

as i have now started in acts, my reading today took me through penticost, the pouring out of the Holy Spirit and of peters preaching, as they spoke in the tongues of the people and were understood by all those present, every one including those of differant nations and languages. all of this is awe inspiring. but this is not what stood out from the pages for me. what did stand out was what happened next. after many were baptized and received the Holy spirit, they started to sell off their possessions and property so to help fufill the needs of the others, and all the believers stayed together, fellowshipped and broke bread, devoted them selves to prayer, even more wonderful they were of ONE MIND. no debating, no arguing. they all believed the same thing, understood the same thing and were of one mind. how wonderful it must have been. not a single doubt among them, as they formed close bonds and worshipped together and watch the aposles preform signs and meracles. this was the first church. the first church wasn't catholic, it wasn't baptist, nope not methidous, not assembly of God, mormon, lutherian, protistan, or even JW's. it was just believeing people who were of one mind, baptized and born again, made a new creature in the Holy Spirit. they helped one another, stayed with one another. fellowshipped, and prayed together. about 3000 people of differant back grounds and languages and in an instant became a family. they weren't called fundimental, or charasmatic. the bible says there was an over all feeling of awe and wonder. how i wish i could see that today. how wonderful it would have been to be to be apart of that.

in a small way i think our little group here do this training and sharing with one another and praying for one another, is a small example of what it may have been like. we are learning with one mind, everyone leaving them selves open for the Lord to do a work in us and in our friends. and Lord i am so thankful for this oppertunity and the many blessings that have come since starting this. i praise you Lord for the Holy spirit moving jilly to start this. Lord it is incredable to watch you working in each of the lives involved with this that have been truly touched and drawn closer to You. i ask for nothing in this prayer Lord, i just praise your love, you saw a need in each of us and in your wisdom devised a way for us all to have those spiritual needs met. we so love and adore you Father. in Jesus christs precious name i pray Amen!

clouds

2005-09-16T02:16:00.000-12:00

ever since i was a little girl i loved to look at the clouds, the white fluffy ones that hang in the sky. my favorite thing was to see what shapes i could see in them. a fish, bird, whale, boat, all kinds of things did i see in the clouds. i'll tell you a secret, though i guess it won't be much of one once i post it here. the night my mother died, she had wanted me to say at the appartment with her, she must have known it was time, but i couldn't. Dave was at home with the kids, who i hadn't seen in two days as it was, and i just had to get home for one night. of course as it turned out it would be the night mom was going to glory and i have forever regretted leaving that night, but i digress, anyway when my grandmother called me(she was staying with my mom), after the inicial break down. we got in the car and went to join my grandmother. the moon was bright that night and the clouds were showing white on a back drop of dark, deep purple sky. of course my eyes were drawn to the clouds as they always are. as my husband turned the car on to the road and the sky infront of us could clearly be seen i looked up at the clouds to find the most amazing thing. a message from my mother. the clouds had formed a perfect " I love U " so incredibly clear, right smack infront of the car. infact, as we traveled over hill and dale and around curves i was able to look at those clouds all the way to my grandmothers. they never wisped out of shape, i never lost sight of them, till we arrived. had it been God or God granting my mother her last earthly wish, she wrote her love for me in clouds before she went on to be with the Lord. once again you may think i am nuts. maybe i am. today i read in acts how our Lord was taken up on a cloud to heaven and the angels that told the deciples that He would return in just the same way. so i still keep my eyes on the clouds. i also think how much fun it would be if i could get a ride on a cloud. i remember once long ago mentioning in a prayer to God that it must have been a very beautiful veiw from the cloud. lol. ok well i was half asleep and it was a thought that came to mind. there was another time i was flying to visit my grandmother in fla. i was quite young only about 7-8. the plane left in a storm, dark clouds, rolling thunder, flashes of lightening. the rain came down in sheets. as we taxied out to the run way the captin came over the intercom and said to stay in our seats and make sure out seat belts were securly fastened that take off would be quite rough. but not to worry we would be flying above the storm and it would just be a few minutes of rough flying till we reached our elivation. the plane groaned as we took off, then air pockets and turbulation rocked the plane and bounced us around. we entered the ominous dark clouds and lights flickered in the plane, then suddenly everything was calm. i raised the shade on my window to one of the most beautiful sights i had ever seen in my life, even up to today. the shade lifted and sunshine streamed in the window, bellow us was what looked like white fluffy ground, not far from the plane there was a white fluffy mountain and the sun was parcialy behind it bathing the whole scene in a golden hue. it was breath taking. even to a 7 year old little girl. i remember asked the flight attendent if i could have a word with the pilot(i was flying alone by the way) she smiled, and since it was the custum of the airline for the pilot to give the kids flying without adult special wings(pin) she took me up to the cockpit. i was very polite, and graciously excepted my wings, the pilot pinned them on me. then i spoke up... "sir" i said," i think you have flown us to high" the pilot and his men along with the flight attendant look at me quizzicaly. i pointed out the left hand window of the cockpit(it was very small and hardly noticed by them) but there framed in that tiny window was the stunning view i had seen from my seat window. "i think we have flow to heaven sir, and though God is being very nice about it, i think we are rather rude to fly right through the middle of God's yard." well the pilot assured me it was ok, he had asked God before we flew here and that God said for us to go ahead and fly through since the storm below was so dangerous. as i turned to be taken back to my seat, i noticed that everyone still in the cockpit were now looking out the small window admiring the beautiful view i had shown them. i heard one man say how he had almost forgot that window was even there... when my mother called to check on how the flight had went. my grandmother told her how i had made some impression on the airline cause everyone knew my name and talked about how cute i was and what a wonderful little girl i was..

don't shut your self in, don't pull the shades down tight and forget you have a window, the sun is shining, go look to the clouds. you may one day be amazed to see our Lord on one of them, and in a twinkling of an eye we shall be caught up to Him. or maybe you will find just a simple message of love written in them.

love and hugs breeze.

the joys we share.

2005-09-14T01:46:00.000-12:00

once again i have forgotten to look up a new memory verse, and i'm sure that soon jilly is going to yell at me in that sweet way thats never really yelling .... but... well you know she is not pleased. so i guess i better go get one by tomorrow. *smiles innocently*

well, today i have been reading about the things Jesus has promised us if we abide in Him and Him in us. such wonderful things He wants for us right now and in the future when we join Him in heaven. i think about the things i want for my children and always it comes to the fact i want them to be happy. did you know thats what God wants for us? he tells us in so many ways. He wants us to have peace. not only peace but peace that surpasses all understanding, Jesus defines this even further and says He wants us to have HIS peace. he told the deciples that he was giving them His peace. we are told time and again in the Bible not to worry, or be axious, but to bring everything to God and leave it with Him. if we could do that all the time, think of what happiness we might find. peace and our burdens carried by someone else so we would have no stress and no wieght on our shoulders. these are gifts of happiness. in so many wonderful ways God shows us His wish for us to be as happy as we can be in this world. then promises us that we will be more then happy in heaven. i think of my own life, there is so much junk that i shoulder every day. the day to day problems of living, struggles that all marriages go through, worry over my children, is that just a hair ball or is my cat sick... worries about my friends and how i can help and ease their pain or burden. we all carry these things. is it any wonder we aren't happy a lot of the time. God sits there thinking, silly i'm right here, let me take care of it. let me carry the wieght for you, haven't i told you all things work together for good for those who believe? sit down take a load off, BE AT PEACE AND BE HAPPY. but do we listen? no. or at least i don't, well i do sometimes, then i take it all back and flounder under the pressure till i go running to God crying Lord i can't carry this anymore, and God takes it all back again, and says you weren't supose to carry it in the first place. silly me. He tells us yes there will be hard times and struggles but i'm with you all the way. this should bring smiles to our faces. we have God on our side. no no, don't mumble at me, and go yeah yeah breeze we know that. do you? think about this. walking beside you, dwelling in side you, you have the creator of the universes, the heavens and the earth. talk about your strong right hand man! He wants us to be happy. when the world comes and brings us down He is by our side to help lift us up again.

God didn't cause our struggles, we do that just fine all on our own, but he wants to help us through them. he didn't cause my fibromyalgia but He is with me to help me when i call upon Him. sin caused my desease, sin infacted us spiritualy but also has taken it's toll in the physical too. right down to DNA. God hurts with us as these frail bodies fail us, as our children are born with desease, chemical inbalances, etc... He didn't do that, we did. in each generation from adam and eve, as our bodies changed from ones that were perfect and ment to live, to ones sin has shaped. my friends give the hurt and pain over to God, He wants us to be happy. He loves us and wants to ease our passage through this life as much as He can, as much as we will let Him. Don't blame, Don't doubt. lean on Him, give everything over to Him, know our not alone He is with you. He hurts when you hurt. our Lord knows every tear we have shed. our Lord has the very hair of our head numbered, OUR LORD, your and my God has our names writen in His palm. it's all about love, it all about excepting that love and holding on to it tightly when the storms in our lives come. knowing Jesus will tell it to "be still" and it will. hold fast to love, hold fast to peace and know when we let Him, as long as we let Him, we can find a sense of happiness as well. and i hope your better at it then i am LOL. but i'm learning. one step at a time.

love and hugs breeze p.s. sorry i got a bit off track from where i was going with this, but thats what happens when you have to break your train of thought to take a child to the dr app. but there is a part in there for a belove friend i know needs to hear it. if she reads it, i don't know.

shame and grief.

2005-09-13T03:27:00.000-12:00

as i work toward finishing up in the gospel of John(by the way what book do we move to next after john?), i have begun to think about all that Jesus did concerning His deciples. i read where He washed their feet. not only acting as Lord, and teacher but humbling Him self to serve as well. i read of judas iscariot's betrayal, and yet Jesus knowing satan had him, knowing the future, gave Him every oppertunity to change course. warning him that He knew it was him. i read of peter and his denial if Jesus. poor peter so frightened he denied Him three times to the point that he swore in the last denial. then he heard the crow of the rooster and remembering Christ's words was over taken by angish, as they walked the Lord passed Him and he had to meet the eyes of Jesus. can you imagine how horrid peter had to have felt, the bible says he "wept bitterly" have you ever had a moment when you have wept bitterly. it is the kind of weeping that physicaly hurts. your thoat almost closes and the sob force through so it renches your body. your breath comes in, in painful gasps. it feels as though your very heart is being squeezed and atempted to be ripped from your chest. these are the bitter tears of betrayal. the bitter tears of anguish so deep that your body fights to physically expell it from you. till you colaps in exhaustion. this is what peter wept.

then i began to think of the things we say every day in chat, in real life, and i wonder if some times these things are not simular denials of who and what we are as Christians. i met a woman in chat who though she loved the Lord, refused to call her self a "Christian" because of how she has witnessed some "Christians" behave in chat. the word "chirstian" first used in the bible, means literally Christ follower. though i may not agree, or like some of what i see people who claim to be christians doing, i could never denounce that i am a Christain. so who are these people who made her denounce being "Christian" the all terrible fundies. yes aweful and hurtful things have been said by "Christains" in chat, and many of us, mind you my self being one have denied any part in their kind of "christianity" hmmm, but wait. I AM a christian ie. a follower of Christ. I AM a fundalmentalist Christain, i believe the bible is the word of God, i believe you have to be born again, i believe in heaven and hell as actual places. i believe there is sin and the bible defines these sins for me.... it is a sin to steal, murder, dishonor your mother and father, it is sin to fornicate(sex out side of marriage) it is sin to adulterate( sex with someone other then your marriage partner) it is sin for two men to have sex, or two women(homosexuality) to name a few. many of the "fundies" we often condemn believe the same things, but they are out spoken about it. are we condemning sisters and brothers in christ? and if so are we then denying our Lord as peter did? now i'm not talking about people like luke, and a few others we can name. we have seen their fruits and know them to be not of God, but faulse hoods. i so often found my self wincing as yet again a non-believing friend slammed some "fundie" in chat and in doing so slammed my very beliefs. i have had to stop and ask forgiveness for my own words close to the time i left for a while. paul saw the Lord, and the Lord asked him why do you persucute me? and at first paul denied it, then the Lord told him that when he hurts one of his followers he hurt Chirst.

so how do i ballance my love for my non-believing friends, some athiests, some satanist, some wiccan, some homosexuals, and my beliefs, and be true to who i am? there is one woman in chat whom is loved by many and she does not compromize her beliefs. a wonderful example that i have missed untill now. Ravey, i so often see her talking to everyone, an "amen" here and there to the believers who are speaking in the room, while she holds a convo with many of the non-believers who love her. her faith has always amazed me, even as she fought the same kind of pain i fight with day in and day out. she has often been a confedon for me of someone who truly knows how bad i'm feeling when i'm feeling really bad.

we often lean on the verse we shall not judge, but the verse does not end there. i goes on to tell us that we shouldn't judge above what we are selve can live up to. this refers to a comdemning judgement. we have to judge to test the spirits, to know the believer from non-believer. we have to judge even the soil we plant in and as we water. is it ready for planting. have i watered to much or to little. the one time we are told NOT to judge at all, is we are not to pass judgement on the brethren. now i garentee you the moment you judge someone harshly and beyond a messure to which you could live up to, that very moment the plan is set that you shall learn empathy for that person. i can't count the number of times i made that mistake and eventually found my self in the very same situation and i remember what i said to that person a while back. yes this is how we learn empathy, compassion and understanding. by going through the pain and struggles that other go through(this is written in the bible as well). i have been taught patience with people time and again by the Lord, and there is only one way to learn it my friends, and that being forced to use it, till it is part of your nature. so when you pray for patience be careful you may get it. how are we to judge and not condemn. by judging with a loving heart. who do we exstend this love to? well the bible says , we are to love our neighbor, who is our neighbor? basically everyone. anyone who come into your life, be it nextdoor to you, down the street in the nieghboring city, or across the world. chat is an excellent example of this. who is our neighbor. well i have a few in england, canada, australia, or here in the US, i'm in vermont, i have nieghbors in texas, michigan. north carolina, west vagina, california, and colarodo. (yes my spelling sucks, but so does spell check on this thing). who esle are we to love, we are to love our enemies. well i think that takes care of just about everyone else.

the moral to this long long post.... we are not to condemn anyone. we are to judge with a loving heart, we are to desern the spirits. judgement with condemnation belongs not to us but to God. he is the judge of hearts, He is the righteous one. we should humble our selves and wash some feet.

love and hugs breeze

decipel training week 2 level1

2005-09-12T05:07:00.000-12:00

Week Two
Discipleship
Level One

"Whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that by our steadfast, patient endurance, and the encouragement drawn from the Scriptures, we might hold fast and cherish hope." Romans 15:4 Amplified Bible

What is the greatest pressure point in your life right now? Briefly write a description of the circumstance: the greatest pressure point in my life? And I have to be brief? Oivey. Well there is more then one. Maybe not, I guess it would have to be my husband. Description? Where do I start? Well to keep it short, he suffers from hereditary depression. This manifests it self in a self loathing, self medicating, anger... to name a few. Well hope that’s short enough.

Read 2 Peter 1:3-11 (NIV)** I don’t have or use an NIV so some of the answers may have different words but mean the same thing.****God is using circumstances and pressure in your life today to nudge you toward growth in one or more of the following areas:

(X)~ Deliberately placing my faith in Christ, staking everything on the convictionthat He loves me, is trustworthy, and knows best, even when I don't understandthe circumstances ~ moral excellence or virtue even in my private thoughts, even when nobody is looking
(X)~ Knowing of God's Word, of God Himself as I increasingly recognize and experience His Presence through the Holy Spirit's ministry to me
~ Self-control as I’m ruled by the Spirit, not by selfish desires
(X)~ Persevere to run the race to the end, even through hardship
~ Growing or increasing Christ likeness
~ Brotherly kindness(I like love here better) based on right relationships, mutual respect, enjoying people more and more
~ Agape love that seeks what is best for the other person and chooses to sacrifice my rights for Christ’s sake Check

(X)the area(s) above where God is working on you in your circumstances now to change you and make you grow up spiritually.
“Blessed is the man whose strength is IN YOU, whose heart is set on pilgrimage.”Psalm 84:5

We cannot become intimate with a God we don’t fully trust. True faith is NOT belief without evidence. True faith IS trust without reservation. Ours is arelationship not a religion! “Faith must be riveted between Genesis and Revelation. The Holy Spirit is our Senior Partner. The disciples of Jesus Christ were just common people,unrecognized. They were fishermen and tax collectors. But once they caught the vision on the Day of Pentecost, that vision made them men and women of faith. They shook the world. When we catch the visions and the dreams, then the visions and the dreams will change us. Prayer is the breath of faith. If I don’t pray, I don’t sense the presence of God or the joy or the peace of Jesus Christ. I don’t find any resources in my heart to meet challenges. Prayer opens me before God. We have all kinds of technologies, but we still need to learn how to kneel down.” (The Life of Faith, by Paul Yonggi Cho) Psalm 25If a weak sheep stays close to the Shepherd, he is safe. Our responsibility is to stay as close as possible to our Shepherd, within His protective care,following where He leads. Christianity is not a self-improvement program. We are transformed into His image, not by striving to live up to perfect standards, but by staying close to Him, abiding in Him, and asking Him to abide in us.

Notes on Prayer in Our Private Walk with God from a lecture by Jack Hayford:
1. Don’t just come to God with a recitation of all that’s monumental to you. Come to Him with time to just listen to Him.
2.Be an intercessor in spiritual warfare whose prayers in Christ’s Name work to tear down strongholds of darkness.
3. Fast from negative. Start the day with a declaration of praise for His recent personal care of you.
4.Pray, “God, come look at my heart. What there is unworthy of You?”
5.Stains of the past or residues of yesterday create feelings ofunworthiness, but you’re just as forgiven as on days when you feel on top of things. There’s no time clock to “punch in” in heaven. God wants you to come out of desire for intimacy and tenderness, not out of duty or guilt.
6. Be filled with the Spirit, taught by the Savior, at the feet of Jesus,with a freshness from Him. Your purpose is not performance, but to be together.There’s a difference between good emotions and a sense of the Presence of Jesus. Give Him your self, your heart, your day.
7. When your mind is in turmoil, write down what’s on your mind. Write to the Lord as a prayer. That will bring problems down to size and reducestress. Then God will begin to give direction.
8.You’re never so isolated and lonely but that the Lord knows it andis ready to meet you there. (Example of John on the Isle of Patmos, before he was given the great Revelation) Jesus cares about where you are and wants to reveal Himself to you in the situation.
9.You’re never so bound that Jesus isn’t ready to come and free you,giving hope. Freedom comes, and then healing comes later. You will still be in the situation, but your spirit will be freed.
10.During severe circumstances, see through a window of vision. There’smore to tomorrow than you think God is not done with you yet.
11.You’re never too old that Jesus is not ready to open a new door. You’re going from victory to victory IF your faith stands firm. “The best part hasn’t been written about you yet.” Don’t give up. Have a vision of possibilities.
12.You’re never so mature that you shouldn’t be available for a freshencounter with Jesus. Never become so familiar that you lose the capacity for being overwhelmed by the presence of Jesus in your worship. Kneel in broken humility. Let Jesus show you where you and He are going from here.

” Colossians 3:4 says, “Christ is our life.” Does He have rivals in your life? Be honest with yourself: in all honesty the only rivals I can think of even in a remote way, or not so remote would be my kids. They are my life, or better worded my life’s focus. But so is God, more so now then ever before. After reading some of jilly’s answers to this I realized rival may mean what inside me fights again God. As she said my stubbornness, being to strong willed for my own good, but in when I should let God do it, etc… but I think things can be rivals too, as well as people.

2 Timothy 2: Compare the “good fight” to the “bad fight.” What four things are we to pursue that become the weapons we use to fight this “good fight”? What is God’s purpose in the lives of the people who oppose Him and us? 1.love, 2. knowledge 3. self control 4. perseverance
* since this is being based on 2 timothy 1:3-11 I could only answer this question in the way that timothy speaks of those who are blinded or short sighted having forgotten their purification from their former sins.

There is nothing worth living for but Him He is always ready to speak whenever you are prepared to listen. Are you content with no other Voice? Do you KNOW His Voice so you cannot be deceived by another? I do dearly hope so. I have heard people say “God told me” this or that etc… I hear God through His word, His word was given to us by Jesus and made into the Bible. I believe if what is being said does follow the bible it is not God or of God. Honestly I worry about the coming end days when we will be tested by the anti Christ and the bible says even the brethren will be tricked and follow him and take the mark of the beast. I worry for my kids and my self. Do we know the bible well enough. Can I teach them how important it is they know the word of God well... scary stuff.

Yaaayyy I did it I finished it!!!! Does a happy dance. NEXT!! lol

love breeze

the suffering

2005-09-11T02:50:00.000-12:00

quick question, was i supose to pick a new memory verse each week? i bet i was.... oivey. ok will get a new one tomorrow.

anyway. i am now moving to the end of the gospel of John. it doesn't matter what gospel i read the end is always the hardest part for me. i hate reading about what was done to my Lord. how he suffered and died. it always moves me to tears. i remember seeing the shrowed of terran for the first time on a TV show. no one knows whether it is real or not, whether it could have been Christ or not, but one thing was very clear, it was someone or depicted someone who was crusified in the same mannor as Christ. the blood from a crown of thorns. the ankle and rist marks from the nails. the pierced side from a lance. and the many marks from scorging. all shown in blood. our Lord was first beaten for fun by the soldiers. they blind folded him and then hit him many times over, while taunting him. he was then scorged/whipped with what was akin to a cattonine tails. with bits of metal tied to the end of each strap, as to basically fillet the skin from his back. the crown of thorns. you must understand we are not speaking of the small thorns you find on a rose bush. where i grew up we had what was called "thorn apple" trees the thorns on these were at least an inch long to a couple of inches or more. they were very sharp and very strong. these were the type of thorns that some made needles for sewing out of. once when walking through a bunch of these trees(we were picking rasberries that grew around them) i stode up and did not watch where i was. i stood up right into a branch of the thorn apples and one long thorn stuck it self deep into my scalp. i fell to the ground in excrusiating pain. like someone had cleaved my head in two, and piercing pain behind my eyes. my ex husband grabbed me and pulled the thorn from my head, he told me to keep my eyes closed and promised me the pain would pass. it was an inermable amount of time, it seemed, for the pain in my head eased and i could see again. come to find out that some of the nurves in our scalp are exstreamly sensitive to injury like that, and the pain it causes is debilitating. it passes once the thorn is removed. imagine a crown of those thorns jammed on to your head and not removed. every movement you make continues to re-injure those nurves... this our Lord indored till the moment of his death. i think sometimes we become desensitized to the things we hear about over and over again. most people think yeah Jesus was crusfied and beaten blah blah blah, we have heard it all before. but do we really think about what he went through? after all that, how agonizing each step was as they forced him to walk carrying his cross/ cross bar, to galgotha. till even our Lords human body could walk no more and someone else was pulled from the crowed to help him. next to suffer being nailed to the cross. he was offered wine laced with opium of some kind to help deaden the pain, but he refused it. being one who has a very vivid imagination if i emotionally delve into what he truly suffered i can do nothing but cry for his pain. feel terrible shame that the sin that killed him then still exists in me today and pray for forgiveness. the good news is He rose!!! he won over pain and death! so that we could live on with Him.

a little side note... i have a very bad nightmare last night. but here is the strange thing, in my dream i was being attached by a demon, and it was trying to keep me from speaking. but finally after a bit of struggle i managed to cry out "BE GONE IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST MY LORD!!!!" i have never talked in my sleep in my life. infact it startle my husband so because i never have. he said he could tell i was upset and i said something in some other language... he thought latin. in my dream i spoke in english lol. but apparently thats not what i called out in real life. in my dream right at the momement i called upon the Lord my husband grabbed and woke me from the dream. i cried, in his arms for a minute. then we laughed a little. i must admit i was a bit freaked out that when i called upon God in my dream, in our bedroom i called out clearly something but in some language my husband couldn't understand. you may think me insane, but when i opened my eyes for a second i thought i saw a shadow on the cieling over the bed disipate before my eyes. it a wee bit disconcerting, the whole thing. oh well, if anyone has an insite i would love to hear it. even if you are telling me i'm nuts and it was just a dream.

love and hugs, the Lord bless and keep you all safe and sound. Breeze

update

2005-09-10T10:32:00.000-12:00

i did not get to read this morning, the weekend had thworted me as it often does. i slept in a bit and then hubby made i huge breakfast for everyone. we had a choice of french toast, waffles, eggs and toast. in any combination we wished, oh i forgot the sausages. hmmm sucking up? yes quite. hubby agreed to my untimatum. he will stop drinking infact has done so already. we got our car back. my oldest son was my blessing there as he offered to pay for it after a rather tearful moment i had. i guess i got a little over whelmed. i was tearfully praying and my son told me it would be ok he would pay for it. i am so incrediably bless with the most wonderful children! all of them saved Christians only nathan has not yet be baptized. but i see that coming quite soon for him. payed the electric and the friend who helped me with that gave me extra money as a gift. once again i cried. and praised and thanked the Lord. today i decided that i could do nothing more till monday, i asked the Lord for peace over everything and He faithfully gave it as He always does. hubby is depressed and kicking him self heavily over what he did. he always goes through this, it hurts me to watch it. today i did something i haven't done in years..... i witnessed to my husband! i could feel the Holy Spirit helping and guiding me with what to say to him. my husband didn't interupt me, not even once he nodded that he was listening and when i was done he had a thoughful look on his face. well the seeds have been planted. the endless examples of God working in our lives and all the blessings He has bestowed upon us are before hubby. darn i forgot to mention that the slate is wiped clean when you come to the Lord. i guess that will be fore the next time. oh i almost forgot to tell ya....

the Lord works in mysterious ways. yesterday i wanted to go shopping, but a hundred and one things delayed us from doing that. finally we got to go and i had just walked in the store and was trying to find some nice ripe plumbs when right next to me this man colapsed. he cracked his head open really good. forever being the nurse and mother hen, of course i imdiately barked some orders of the staff at the store and was given what i needed to put pressure on the mans head and a promped call to the abulance company. i was very sore today from helping to lift the man and holding the conpress in his head in awkward position. but i thanked the Lord for all the delays that i was there to be of help. by the time the emt's arrived the bleeding was stopped. he probably got oh i'd say a good 15 to 20 stitches but i'm sure the man was fine. shhh, but i think he was a little drunk. hubby thought so too.

well i'm out of time, i'm very blessed and i thank you all for your love and prayers! i can see your efforts and i am sooo blessed for the friendships this training he brought me. i haven't felt this strong in the Lord in a long time and it is truly an awesome feeling. thank you so much!

love and hugs breeze.

just reading

2005-09-08T23:55:00.000-12:00

i started this morning in pain, and my stomach in knots. i really didn't want to read in my Bible, i didn't wan't to blog. i wanted to pretended the world didn't exist, but i am not allowed that luxury. i wanted to scream and tear out my hair in frustration. but i have to be the rock in which this family stands on( me and God of course). so much of my world has suddenly been tossed careening out of control. i woke with a start at 4am this morning to find my husband hadn't come home yet. at 4:30 ish he came through the door, drunk, and told how he had spent the last several hours at the police station. he was pulled over for failure to keep right, he then blew them a .119(not sure what that means as i don't know much about those numbers, but obviously it was not good) and the officer found a pipe and a tiny amount of weed on my idiot for a husband.... sorry. sooo he was taken away to the police station, and my car was inpounded and towed away. hubby woke one of our friends to get a ride home(he should have walked!) and as he is telling me what happened i sat there at first in disbelief. not that i was shocked that he was drinking or that he had weed. things have been getting worse for some time now. how could he be so stupid! as to drive into town when he was drunk! i have no idea how we will get the car out of the impound. i had to barrow money from a friend to keep our lights on, cause hubby left his job(the company was moving somewhere else). he got a job delivering pizzas and last night was his first night. i have no idea how he plans to do that if we can't get the car back. the last thing i said to him last night was... he was either done drinking or we were done. for all the pain and hurt my husband has put me through over the years, kinda like the song says, for ever time we laughed there was two times i cried, for some unfathumable reason i love the jackass. but the cammel's back has been broken. and if rock bottum is what he needs to pull him self together then so be it, i'll put him there. the ball is now in his court and i have no idea what choice he will make.

so i forced my self to pick up my Bible this morning and began my reading in john. i read through chapters 4-6 and nothing really jumped out at me, nothing in that particular spot offered anything toward my stuggles today. but as i read on, the more peaceful i became. slowly worry, anxiety and anger slipped away. i told God i didn't know what was going to happen today but that i knew he was incontrol. i took a few deep breaths and gave it into his hands. in about ten minutes i will probably have to give it over all over again. but i know for each moment i do, i will receive peace. i have cried out to God to help me and i know He will do just that. this doesn't mean this day will be made easy for me. it doesn't mean there won't be pain and hurt feelings. it doesn't mean we won't drown temparily financially. it means God will be with me ever step of the way. He will guid me, He will open the right doors for me, He will strengthen me so i may handle it all. i know this day will be a day of conflict and struggle. probably tomorrow as well. i can face it all because my Lord is with me. let the winds blow and the storms rage i will turn calmly in the face of it all and tell it to "be still" and it will. today my life in some form will take a new derection and it won't be by the winds of change and chance. it will be fully Willed by God and my Lord will give me the stregnth to do what is needed. Amen

"Be anxious/worried for nothing but in everything by prayer, and suplication, with thanksgiving , let your requests be made known to God. and the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." phil 4:6-7

this is my verses for today.

i do have a praise... nathan has slept in his room, with the lights off and is beginning to face his fears like the brave little guy i knew he is. but we couldn't have come this far without God. it was me praying with nathan each night. we asked Him to take the fear from nathan. we asked Him to being watching over him. i read nathan in the bible where as i child of God we are given authority to tell all "scary things" to leave and they have to leave because of God living in us. he asked is it a rule that they have to leave. and i said yet it is. this morning he told me it was quiet up there last night. i asked what he ment? he said all the scary noices were gone. AMEN!!! and praise the Lord. he is faithful even unto the little children! now how cool is that? i think it is awesome.

God bless everyone, please keep us in prayer today. i love you all breeze.

a new babble.

2005-09-08T00:20:00.000-12:00

"He that is in you is great then he that is in the world" 1john 4:4

john 4:36-37 "Already he who reaps is receiving wages and is gathering fruit for eternal life; so that he who sows and he who reaps may rejoice together. 37, for in this case the saying is true, 'one sows and another reaps'.

you know in all my years of being a Christian, and in all the times i have shared God's words with people, i have never been the one to lead someone to the Lord. i have sown the seed, tended the soil and watered, but i have not reaped. of course it's God who reaps and does the work on a persons heart. but you know what i mean. i have seen people in chat condemned for not having brought someone to God, and accused of not really being saved. right here in the verse above God clearly shows we all have a job to do and each job is just as important as any other job. for several years i was married to a farm( lol yes i said farm, cause you don't just marry the man, you marry the farm) in the spring there was a ton of work to do. first the soil had to be made ready( the parable of the types of ground the seeds of God's word can fall on shows exactly this.) if the soil wasn't made ready the crop would be a poor one. to prepare the soil fertilizer was spead over the field, so the seeds would have the neutrients to grow. next the ground was tilled/ plowed(broken up and in the prosses of this the fertilizer was mixed into the soil) then the field was "disced" this prosses broke up the large clumps, leveled out the soil. to keep a long prosses short then the seed was planted. there is much work to do even before the seeds are sown. in the case of God's word, the soil must be taken care of as well. trust, example, love these things must be pressent before hand. so many hands took part in bring me to God and many of those hands don't even know i have come to know the Lord. but the sower and the reaper will rejoice together in heaven. i was lucky to have Lived the parable, that i have a deep understanding in that it can take many each doing their part to make a harvest, and i have only gone over preparing the soil, keep in mind tending the crop as it grows intails many many other jobs. we are each called acourding to our ability and we all have a special job to do. the part we play in helping to save someone is rewarded just as much as the one who gets to lead the person to God. be not descuraged.

the same is true for gifts. how often i have heard your not saved if you don't speak in tongues. oh bull pucky! tongues is a gift and it is So incrediably made clear in 1 chor. that everyone will recieve differant gifts. i have never spoken a word in "tongues" as in the holy prayer language. and i don't care if i ever do. infact i think i would be happier if i never do. it kinda creaps me out. some how i have always believed i would have peace around anything that was truely from God. and the times i have wittnessed it my main erge was to leave. but none the less there are those who believe strongly in it, God bless them and so be it. once again we are all called and given a differant gift. why do we judge others by what Godly things we possess? tongues, healing, prophecy. the most Godly people i have ever known were people who simply possesed knowledge and LOVE. they seemed turned inside out. cause when you looked at them you saw not flesh and bone person but you just knew you were looking right at their souls. i wish to be like them. when someone looks at me they see love, when they hear me speak my words inpart love and my touch makes them feel loved.

i have my hands full lol, i wish to be the good wife, and the person i spoke of above, don't get me started on the kind of mother i wish to be and hope i have been as i watch my oldest starting to make his way. oh Lord i pray in earnest that Scott will keep his eyes on you, that i brought him up strong enough to avoid the pitfalls of sin! i praise you Lord and Love you so! Amen.

well my friends, keep an eye on me and let me know when i am actually reaching any of those goals, but more important let me know when i have slipped farther away from them.

love and hugs. God bless and keep you all breeze.

Follow Me.

2005-09-07T00:31:00.000-12:00

ÂThe One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.Â 1 John 4:4
I
i have finally had some quiet time to sit and get some reading done Feels goodI i had been struggling to just get a few minutes here and there, So this hour has been wonderful And in the course of my reading two things jumped out at me Sincec I can't pick just one lol, you get them both Aren't you over joyed at my new long post.I i have never been good at keeping thoughts and ideas short and sweet, so I don't try If it is in me to share I share.

anyway today in john I was reading about the people Jesus asked to follow him, but not only did Jesus Him self ask disciples to follow Him, but the disciples went out and brought people to Jesus Phillip brough Nathaniel etc..We actually see the start of the evangelical right in the very beginning of Jesus's ministry I know in an earlier post I mentioned my first experience with God and the Christian family I stayed with as a child Later I found my self drawn to church As early as in my teen years and had asked Jesus into my heart and life ooohhh a few times lol It wouldn't be till much later in my adult years that I would finally dedicate my life to Him What I can say about that is, the Lord wouldn't let me go Every where I turned he placed Christian force in my path Be it my mother when she became a believer Some friends, so many people crossed my path and let me know I belonged to God and He was calling me I was quite resistant at first Even when I was on the verge of making the decision to come to GodI i made my pastor come over and answer all my questions lol None of them easy ones We still have our disagreements but God bless him I have so much respect for the man for his knowledge and caring and loving kindness he has shown us always through out the years I had some bad experiences during the time my mother was dyeing of cancer that made it so hard for me to let go and come to God freely When my mother was diagnosed with cancer her church was horrid to herAs though she was the leper of old The women avoided her as if they could catch it from her Basically her church abandoned her. God bless my mother and her stead fast belief and faithThis did not dampen her walk with God at all. God was persistent with me And I thank and praise Him for it!!

but all that leads into another issue I praise the Lord and thank Him for jilly and her disciple training I have in a way fallen out of love with my church, and was floundering some what when this came along. It is one of those things, you know in your head that understanding should come from the holy spirit and that man will let you down even those who profess to know God, and yet something happens and always it's your faith that takes the hit. Why is that? Since my fibromyalgia has gotten worse much to similar treatment of my mother I have been abandoned Even believed to have slipped away from God Not one sister or brother in Christ has come to visit me or talk to me in months And my beloved pastor doesn't return my calls unless I pester him. I pray the Lord blesses them all abundantly, and for my self maybe the Lord is guiding me to move on This I have been praying on and am awaiting His answer and guidance Mind you this started because I was in to much pain to attend church on Sunday mornings and again in to much pain to sit at evening services as well, also I was to umm drugged from pain meds Anyway I had another part I was going to post about but I think this has gotten long enoughTo finish my point even now I had been struggling with my faith and what to do and feeling very hurt by my church, God is not letting go Between the wonderful blessings He does in my life daily and this training with jilly and all my beloved friends, who could not feel a renewal of spirit?Amen!

the moral of this babbling is He not only calls us, He peruses us and once we are His He will never let us fall to far away from Him. He will catch us and lift us up renewed.

love and hugs breeze P.S. something went goofy with the spell check and removed my puctuation and made a mess of some words. i have fixed what i could, but i have run out of time now. hope it wasn't to difficult to read.

He Provides!!

2005-09-05T02:02:00.000-12:00

ÂThe One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.Â 1 John 4:4

LorI i want to praise and thank you, no matter whastraightts we find our selves in you are always with us and provide for us in youabundancece.Becausese of your great love for me you always hear wheI i cry out to you in fear, in pain, or in worryYouou providePraisese you Lord!

help me Lord to find the time and quiet moments to be mordiligentnt in this wonderful trainingI i ask Lord that it help me learn more about You and draw me into a closer walk with youAmenen!

well firsI i musapologizeded for being late with my posts, and falling behindThehe weekends are hectic with all the kids home anI i seem to find not a single free second to open my BibleThankfullyly prayer can be doneasilyly while folding cloths or other such choresI i have a ton of answered prayerI i wish to share with youThehe Lord has so been showing Him self there in my life over the last few days anI i am excited to share with you.

first prayer answered is about my oldest sonHehe was going to move out and room with a friend, get a job some where...Etctc...I i had hoped he would go to school and gain somfurtherer education into something he would like and might provide him with good jobs and life long financial securityButut he was resistant.Anywayay it came about this week that the plan for moving out fell through(very happy mom lol, mom wasn't ready for that yet even if son was) Scott anI i sat down and had a long talkPraisese God, he is now open to the idea of schoolWewe will be look into it in earnest this week to see about him possibly starting somewhere next semester. *** please !Prayay over this for me, for ScottAndnd thank you partner for all your prayers!

secondThisis has a smalmiracleal in itIfif anmiracleal is smallMymy aunt, after visiting urecentlylydecideded to send us a gift card to walmartShehe had missed a few birthdays of the kids, plus the start of school, she wanted to help with school cloths( praises again cause we had no money at all to do this our selves) she sent a card for a couple hundred dollars, and off to walmart we wentNathanan 4 pairs of pants , a sweeter and shirt, socksLeeee two pairs of pants and a new hoodyAngelala a couple pair of pants, new sweeter and 3 new bra's , once again socks for everyoneAndnd a few other odds and endsWewe are up at the line to check out anI i had this over whelming feeling we were way over whaI i had to spendI i tapped my daughters on the shoulders and asked each one of them to pray, and of coursI i prayed tooPleasese Lord don't let me have gone over!!!TheneI i watched each item get checked through with that horrid bleep noise as the scanner reads the codeI i tallied as she went along in my head, and thought oh my goodness we are over and not just a little. bleep bleep bleepI i looked at my husband who was wincing tooI i prayed some more and looked at my girls who watched with smiles on their facesThehe total came up..... 200.15 $ some how we were only 15 cents overMymy husbanproduceded that from his pocket with an audible sigh lolI i suddenly felexhausteded from the stress draining out of meAsas we were walking to the car, Lee says to me(she is 12) you should have trusted God would answer you more mom and you wouldn't have gotten so worked upI i laughed and hugged her (out of the mouths of babes, as they sayI i dia lotot of praising and thanking of God all the way homeI i looked at my unsaved hubby and said , if that was not God at work what was? Dave nodded his head and said nothingHehe had tallied right along with meItit should have been much more. Amen!! God provides!!

there are many verses in the Bible that speak to thprovisionsns of GodOnene verse talks about the flowers and if the Lord dresses them up in sucgloriousus color how much more would he do for youAnotherer one about birds.IniPhilippiansns he says to be worries for nothing but by prayer ansupplicationon bring everything to GodI i love that verse it gives me so much comfortInin the oltestamentnt it says He gives His angels charge over uaccordingng to His riches and gloriesTherere is a song made from that verse thaI i sing all the time.

agaiI'm'm sorry for not being mordiligentnt at my journalingI i will try to work harder at being morconsistentnt.

love and hugs, God's blessing Breeze

Disciple training post 1

2005-08-30T03:42:00.000-12:00

Hello all my beloved partners and friends in our little group of disciples. You know I'm very excited about this. One I think through this we will all get to know each other much better. Two since this group started there hasn't been anything really done that was directly for the Christians, I mean on this scale. So this is awesome! And three I think it's a direct answer to prayers for me, and something I have really needed. That said... As you can see I'm already behind on my reading and everything else lol. I even still have to look up my memory verse for the week. Boy is my accountability partner(everyone who reads this) gonna yell at me. Really all it was, was miss juggling priorities. I did do my reading, though it was late last night so I'm just getting to post about it now.

I started in the gospel of john. And found my self stopped at the very first verse, and a few verses that followed.

~ john 1:1... In the beginning was the word, and the word was With God and the word Was God.

it's actually a favorite of mine, a very powerful verse that inspires awe and some how comforts me at the same time. Right here the God head is shown so clearly. Who is the word? Well if we read on we find Christ is the word. In this verse it shows both the separation of God the son and God the father and the total unity as well. Next we are shown His power, His all powerfulness in verse 3 ~ john 1:3... All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being~ there laid out so clearly and beautifully is the power of the word ie. Jesus Christ. His authority absolute.

think about this for a second... Here is our Lord shown in all his glory. He was with God and was God, and all creation came through Him or it just plain didn't happen. And yet because He loved us so He humbled him self to become a man. He taught us face to face of love and truth, and ultimately suffered great torture and died for us. Still an all powerful being who in his distress could have let anger rule Him and called down 10,000 angels and destroyed all of man kind, even the earth it self. What do you think people saw in the eyes of this all powerful man? My personal belief is his face shined with warmth, love and peace. I can find joy in this, peace, and heart break, even shame at how we the human race had made Him suffer for His love. Even today the things I hear from others in chat and out of chat make me wince and I wonder if my gentle and beloved Lord yet sheds tears and suffers for the "words" of others.

I watched a movie last night. And in it was this one profound statement made by the fictional character of Gabriel (an angel of the bible) not fictional in the bible, fictional in the movie. As best as I can remember the exact words I share them with you here.... He said, you have the most sweet and Loving God, who only asks repentance and belief for your salvation. In all the universes and among all the angels not a one can boast such a gift as man.... Some where some writer had a moment of such clarity to write that and the impact of it on me was both a wake up call and being rapped in the warmest blanket, all at the same time. The movie it was ok, but had one incredible shining moment in it.

well I think that's enough for today, I promise next post will have my memory verse in it lol

as of today each of you, as we travel this road of learning together are beloved and dear to me. May God be watching over you. Love and hugs Breeze

I have returned

2005-08-28T09:14:00.000-12:00

Well hello all weary traveler of bloggdum. A while back I had basically shut this blog down. Now I'm starting it up again to begin a wonderful new discipleship training program run by a friend of mine and this shall be my journal for it. I can wait to start.

I have been matched up with a prayer partner I need to get in touch with woohoooo. There is power in prayer!! Anyway just wanted to get this up and going again.

love and hugs the breezey one.

what element are you.

2004-08-23T03:32:00.000-12:00

You're Elemant is Wind. You're light-hearted,
care-free, kind, sensative, and mysterious. You
have friends and most absolutely love you. You
can be calm and soothing one minute and ragging
in anger the next so no one wants to get on
your bad side. You're beauty is inspiring and
magical.

What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
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